Joke For All: February 2012

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 29, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Leap Day! You have an extra day this year – do something you wouldn’t usually do.

You probably noticed Google updated its privacy policies a few weeks back. Next week, they take effect. CyberJokester Dave Goordman sends along this article from The Blaze that you should read; it provides step-by-step instructions as to how to delete your Google history. You may be surprised!

http://bit.ly/A1KIic

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Doctor, this weight-loss patch says to 'Stick it on and the pounds will melt away.' Will it really work?" "Sure," said the doctor, "but only if you put it over your mouth!"

Two men and a woman were shipwrecked on a desert island. After three years, the woman was so ashamed of what she had been doing that she committed suicide. After three more years, the men were so ashamed of what they had been doing that they buried her. After three more years, the men were so ashamed of what they had been doing that they dug her up again!

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

Monday, February 27, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 28, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The Atlantic has a web page showing the cleanup just one year after the Japanese tsunami. Click on a photo and it dissolves between a year ago and today. What a remarkable difference.

http://bit.ly/Arya34

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

As the absent-minded professor prepared to leave for work, his wife told him, "Don't forget: we're moving today. If you come to this house this afternoon, it'll be empty." But predictably, he didn't remember until he was standing before the empty house. He mumbled, "Where were we moving?" A little girl skated past. He asked, "Excuse me, little girl. Did you see a moving van here today?" "Yes," she replied. "Can you tell me where it went?" She said, "Sure, Daddy. I'll show you!"

A couple approached the desk of the big city hotel. "I'd like a room with a bath for my wife and myself," said the young man. "I'm sorry, sir," said the clerk, "but the only room available doesn't have a bath, only a shower." The young man turned to his wife. "Is that all right with you, dear?" She replied, "It's okay with me, mister!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Sunday, February 26, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 27, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

“And the award for best Sight Gag goes to...”
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/sightgagbrowser.php?j=3251

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

My boss called me today and said, "How's it going at the office today? Is everything okay?" I told him, "Yep, all under control. It's been busy. I haven't had a break all day." "Great. Can you do me a favor?" "Sure, boss. What?" "Speed up play; I'm in the foursome behind you!"

Confucius says, "Girl who is wallflower at party may be dandelion in bed!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Thursday, February 23, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 24, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Richard Baylis sends along the origami creations of Won Park, which must be seen to be believed.
http://orudorumagi11.deviantart.com/gallery
But rumors that he lives in an old garbage truck converted into an RV are evidently false:
http://bit.ly/zzyf72

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you hear about the accident last week? A truck full of wigs turned over. Yes, for days police have been combing the area!

"I always worry when you leave for a weekend of fishing with the guys," sobbed the pretty young wife. Her husband soothed her, "Don't worry about me, babe; I'll be back before you know it." She sighed. "Yeah; that's what worries me!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 23, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Oscar Peterson was one of the all-time great jazz pianists and now you can watch the actual notes he improvised. The audio is Oscar performing George Gershwin's classic, "How Long Has This Been Going On?" but the video is a transcription of the musical notation. Watch this. (And, if you're a pianist, weep!.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azSQ_yDWmXU

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Last night, my wife said that snoring can kill you. I decided to move the gun out of the bedroom table!

The young blonde returned from her South American vacation and went to the local bank to exchange her foreign currency. She plopped a huge wad of bills on the counter, the teller counted it, consulted his computer, and then counted out $27.18. The blonde gasped, "You mean that's all I get for that mountain of money?" "I'm afraid so, Miss," replied the teller. "That's the current exchange rate." "Damn! And I even fixed him breakfast!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 22, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Jed Feiman sends along the funniest technical college ad yet. (Did my college even advertise way back then?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Am7oKBD3PU

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you hear about the guy who was half Irish and half Scottish? He really wanted a drink, but just couldn't bring himself to buy one!

Doug brought Bill home from work with him early one afternoon. They went upstairs to find his wife ...and caught her in bed with another man! Doug turned calmly away from the scene and headed back downstairs. "So, Bill, want a cup of coffee?" "Uh, sure," agreed Bill, "but what about the guy upstairs in your bed?" Doug replied, "To hell with him. He can make his own coffee!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Monday, February 20, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 21, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Gary Orndorff sends along this video of Jon Gomm, who does amazing things with a guitar. This is one musical performance you need to watch as well as hear!
http://www.wimp.com/guitarskills

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Little Johnny was so proud of the surprise birthday cake he made for his mom, but it was all she could to swallow even one bite. "How do you like it, Mommy?" "It's wonderful, John." Little Johnny beamed. "I'm glad. I'm sorry there's no candles on top but, when I took it out of the oven, they were all gone!"

I don't need cybersex; my computer goes down on me all the time!

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Sunday, February 19, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 20, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Today, in honor of President’s Day, I’m proud to announce that no President of the United States has ever said a single bad word about Sight Gags!
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/sightgagbrowser.php?j=3241

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

It took Little Johnny hours to cut the priest's lawn because the grass was so overgrown. When he finally finished, he asked for payment. The priest pulled out a single dollar bill. Little Johnny said, "Thank you, Virgin Father!" The priest replied, "What did you say?" Little Johnny repeated, "Thank you, Virgin Father!" The priest asked, "Do you know what that means?" The boy replied, "I sure do: tight a$$!"

Three guys met at a party and it wasn't long until the conversation turned to their line of work and their brand of car. "I'm a veterinarian," said the first man. "I drive a yellow 'Vet." They smiled and nodded and the second man said, "I own a sign company. I drive a purple Neon." The third guy hesitated until the others egged him on. He finally said, "I'm a proctologist ...and I drive a brown Probe!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Friday, February 17, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 17, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Robert Yetter sends along this video of the 1936 Pontiac assembly line. There's no narration but none is needed. Notice how worker safety has changed; everything was relays, pneumatic, or hydraulic logic.
http://bit.ly/xy8G8c

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

On a joint military exercise, three soldiers shared a tent. The conversation turned to food. "In the Russian Army, we get 2,000 calories per day," said the Russian. The Englishman responded, "In the British Army, we get 4,000 calories a day." The American bragged, "The US Army gives us 8,000 calories." The Russian laughed. "Nonsense!" he snorted. "No man could eat that much cabbage!"

Jane was ugly -- so ugly, it hurt. Having never had a boyfriend, she asked a psychic for help. The psychic said, "Jane, you will not be lucky in love in this lifetime, but, you will be reincarnated and then you will be Earth's most desirable woman. Men will fall at your feet. And you will find great joy." Jane left happy and excited. On her way home, going over a bridge, she thought, "The sooner I die, the sooner my great new life will begin." So she stopped her car right there and jumped off the bridge. Incredibly, she didn't die! She landed in the back of an open truck loaded with bananas, but she did faint. After riding a few miles, she came to, drowsy, unable to see well, not knowing where she was, and started feeling her surroundings. Feeling all those bananas, she laughed and said, "Gentlemen, please. One at a time!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 16, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Don Bostwick sends along this wonderful footage of Disneyland in 1957, shortly after the park opened and, coincidently, the first year I visited. Talk about bringing back memories! And look at the (lack of) crowds.
http://bit.ly/wGT6XT

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Two gladiators were waiting for their event to begin in the ancient Roman Coliseum, before a crowd of thousands. "Hey, Jim. Isn't that the emperor?" "Yep, that's Nero. And that babe beside him with the big knockers is his girlfriend. You'll never guess what happened to me last night." "What?" "That very girl came down to my cell last night!" "Nero's girlfriend?" "Yep, and she moved toward me." "Nero's girlfriend?" "Yep, and she stroked my hair." "Yeah?" "And she kissed me." "Yeah?" "And she lifted my toga!" "Yeah?!" "And then... uh, sorry. I'll tell ya later. Here come those damn lions!"

Why do women have two sets of lips? So that they can p¡ss and moan at the same time!

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 15, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

How about some close-up magic. Magician Michael Vincent does the "Slap Aces" trick and closes with a sensational shuffle.
http://www.flixxy.com/magic-by-michael-vincent.htm

This Thursday at 10pm PST / 1am EST, Spike TV will air an interview I did last week for GTTV about the new Leisure Suit Larry revival. Interestingly, the host, Geoff Keighley, was a beta tester for Sierra back in the old days – before we learned his age! Here’s a promo to the show:
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/episode-510-gt-tv/726864

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What's the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician? A rock musician plays three chords to thousands of people while the jazz musician plays thousands of chords to three people.

The teacher asked her pupils to spell a word starting with "A" and then use that word in a sentence. Little Johnny's hand flew up, but she teacher ignored him, fearing his propensity to turn even the simplest of statements into sexual innuendo. "All right, Susan. You may go first." Little Suzi said, "Teacher, A is for Ape, A-P-E. An ape likes bananas." "Excellent, Susan," said her teacher. As they continued through the alphabet, Little Johnny's hand waved at every letter, but she thought of an embarrassing word he might say, so she didn't call on him. At F, Little Johnny's hand was the only one up, but there's no way she'd let him tackle that one so she called on Mary, who responded, "F is for Fairy, F-A-I-R-Y. A fairy is a little girl who lives among the flowers." "Excellent, Mary. And now, G." Again, Little Johnny's was the only hand up. The teacher thought, "There are no embarrassing words that began with G. This one is safe." So she called on Johnny. "Teacher, G is for Gnome G-N-O-M-E. A gnome lives among the flowers, too." "Johnny, that's excellent," said the relieved woman. Little Johnny continued, "Yes, teacher, gnomes are fairy f*¢kers!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Monday, February 13, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 14, 2012

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Valentine’s Day! Now, men, you have no excuse for going home empty-handed tonight!

Here's yet another video from space, but this time there's a narrator to tell you what you're seeing. And what sights they are! Be sure to click full screen and high def!
http://bit.ly/zsJiAc

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

An avid bird watcher heard an owl hoot in his backyard. He hooted back. To his surprise and delight, the bird hooted again. They "talked" for quite a while. The next night, the same thing. And on and on, all summer. He began to log their "conversations," thinking he may be on the verge of an inter-species communications breakthrough. His wife, chatting with their next-door neighbor, said, "My stupid husband spends his evenings calling to owls." The neighbor replied, "How odd; so does my husband!"

Joe entered the confessional. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last week I had sex forty-three times." "My son," said the priest, "this is a bad thing. With whom?" "My wife," said Joe. The priest said, "But, Joe, sex inside marriage is not a sin." "I know," said Joe with a grin, "But I just had to tell someone!"

To hear jokes instead of reading them, download "Al's Comedy Club" for your iPhone, iPod, or iPad. It's less than a buck!

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Joke For All

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 29, 2012

Monday, February 27, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 28, 2012

Sunday, February 26, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 27, 2012

Thursday, February 23, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 24, 2012

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 23, 2012

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 22, 2012

Monday, February 20, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 21, 2012

Sunday, February 19, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 20, 2012

Friday, February 17, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 17, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 16, 2012

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 15, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

[cyberjoke3000] February 14, 2012

Followers

Blog Archive