Monday, March 31, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 1, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Don’t forget: today is April Fool’s Day. It’s your responsibility to make a fool of someone – maybe you!

 

CyberJokester Marcos Accioly sends along this webpage about Scout, the dog with the best self-control of any dog on the planet. His owner swears Scout loves photo shoots.

http://bit.ly/1gjrd82

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"1% battery remaining." Challenge accepted!

 

The woman at the unemployment office said she had three openings for me. "Great," I said, dropping my pants. "That's two more than my wife!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Sunday, March 30, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 31, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Have yet to sign up for Obamacare? Have some sight gags instead!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4251 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Did the NSA start the selfie craze to get updated photos of us?

 

Life is like a d¡ck -- sometimes it gets hard for no reason! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Thursday, March 27, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 28, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

What do retired musicians do? Watch this and laugh:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/96I_UrTOZF0 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I can always tell when a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs!

 

The Kamasutra says, "If you suck one nipple, the woman herself offers you the other." Was that the origin of "buy one, get one free?" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 27, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Carl Edwards takes the ride of his life behind the wheel of Henry Ford's first and only racecar, the 1901 "Sweepstakes." 70 mph on cloth tires, with the "co-pilot" hanging off the inside running board!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru_hC9oGVbo 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Pavlov was enjoying a pint at the pub when the phone rang. He jumped up and cried, "Oh, no! I forgot to feed the dog!"

 

How is marriage like a phone call in the middle of the night? First comes the ring, then you wake up! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 26, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Don Bostwick sends along one of the best feats of balancing I've ever seen: here's Richardo of Sweden.

http://bit.ly/1imaanZ 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

The first five days after the weekend are the hardest.

 

Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? He came home sh¡t-faced! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Monday, March 24, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 25, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Bob Yetter sends along this special report from Smithsonian Magazine, "101 Objects That Made America," drawn from the 137 million artifacts held by the 19 museums and research centers of the Smithsonian Institution.

http://bit.ly/1gyT3gG 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What do women say when they are actually fine?

 

"Dad, I think the vicar may be a homosexual." "What makes you think that, son?" "Because he closes his eyes when I kiss him!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Sunday, March 23, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 24, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

It’s always special when you spot the first sight gag of Spring!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4241

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

You're either part of the solution or you're one of my coworkers.

 

A bloke and his missus were fishing off the Australian coast when a shark swam by. His lady asked, "If I fall outta the boat, will a shark swallow me whole?" The bloke snorted, "Nah, he'd spit that part out!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Friday, March 21, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 21, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I'm old enough to remember some these; if you remember them all, tell me, please. "11 Things We No Longer See in Movie Theaters"
http://bit.ly/1j7HuBI 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Definition of divorce: She gets the ring while he gets the finger!

 

A Few Observations: Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise. Good friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard. Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good until you realize you're only screwing yourself. Women may be the foundation stone of society, but remember who laid them! Men play the game; women know the score. Wives are funny: they don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then want to kill the one woman who does!

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 20, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Don’t feel bad if you don’t get today’s first joke. I had to google it myself. I found a great explanation on Slate. Plus, some more similar jokes.

NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Carl Edwards takes the ride of his life behind the wheel of Henry Ford's first and only race car, the 1901 "Sweepstakes." 70 mph on cloth tires, with the "co-pilot" hanging off the inside running board!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru_hC9oGVbo 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel, and Noam Chomsky walked into a bar. Heisenberg said, "Clearly, this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?" Godel replied, "We can't know that because we're inside the joke." Chomsky said, "Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong!"

 

What did the German bisexual woman do? Went down on her Hans and niece! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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[cyberjoke3000] March 19, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

In honor of the 25th anniversary of the World Wide Web, PCmag looked back at some early websites. My, how things have changed!

http://bit.ly/1krHsSI 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I like to drive through neighborhoods, blasting an MP3 of ice cream truck music and counting the disappointed kids!

 

The Ikea instruction manual called for a screwdriver, so I got out the orange juice and vodka. I don't remember reading the rest of the instructions ...or mounting a table on my ceiling! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 18, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

If, like me, you missed the International  Mosaiculture Exhibition in  Montreal last summer, CyberJokester Lowell Wall sends along this photo gallery.  Plants are grown and trained into sculptures that look real. Take a look!

http://bit.ly/1h1kbFf 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I just bought a universal remote control. I thought, "Well, this changes everything!"

 

It a good thing we no longer have to hunt for our food; I don't even know where sandwiches live! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Sunday, March 16, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] March 17, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here are some Irish sight gags:
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4231 
Of course, they have nothing to do with St. Patrick’s Day.

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I hope that, if we ever travel to the stars and discover a planet with intelligent life, we just make patterns in their crops and leave.

 

Last night, in bed, I asked my wife, "What would you most like to do to my body?" She said, "Identify it!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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