Tuesday, June 13, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 14, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

We've all seen ugly user interfaces but what if a UI designer really tried to make something bad. Like a simple volume control? Reddit asked this same question and boy, did it get some evil designs!
https://digg.com/2017/badly-designed-volume-bars-ui  

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What do you get if you divide the circumference of your jack-o'-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi!

The mortician was preparing a man's body when he noticed his unbelievably long penis. He called his secretary in to see it. She took one look and said dryly, "That's just like my husband's penis." "Wow, his is that long?" "No. That dead!" 

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AL
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Monday, June 12, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 13, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Matt Flinton sends along Darren Franich's fine tribute praising Adam West's sincere, goofy Batman. Well worth your time:
http://ew.com/tv/2017/06/11/adam-west-batman-tribute

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Who's the poorest resident of Kentucky? The tooth fairy!

Wife: "I wish I was a newspaper. I'd be in your hands all day." Husband: "Me, too. Plus, I'd get a new one every morning!" 

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I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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[cyberjoke3000] June 12, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

It’s “Who Needs a Truck” week on Al Lowe’s Cybergag 3000™.
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5921

I posted some more relics from my upstairs closet to eBay this weekend, including a rare Apple ][ version of Troll’s Tale, my third game ever. Check them out:
http://www.ebay.com/usr/al_lowe

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. It's only difficult for others. It's the same when you're stupid.

A nun was waiting at the airport for her flight to Chicago when she saw a fortune-telling scale and decided to try it. She dropped in a coin and out came a card reading, "You're a nun who weighs 128 pounds on her way to Chicago." She was surprised by its accuracy but thought it probably gives the same card to everyone, so she decided to try it again. The next card read, "You're a nun who weighs 128 pounds on her way to Chicago and you're going to play a fiddle." She thought, "Well, that's wrong; I've never played any musical instrument, ever." But as she sat down, a cowboy sat nearby, putting his fiddle case between them. Without hesitation, she opened the case, removed his fiddle, and started playing beautiful music. Not believing what had just happened, she returned to the scale, put in another coin, and got a third card reading, "You're a nun who weighs 128 pounds on her way to Chicago and you're going to break wind." She knew the scale was fake. "I've never broken wind in public ever in my life" but as she stepped off the scale she slipped, and sure enough, farted quietly. Stunned, she just had to try her luck one more time. This time the card read, "You're a nun who weighs 128 pounds and you've fiddled and farted around and missed your flight to Chicago!" 

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Copyright information
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AL
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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Thursday, June 8, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 9, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Michael Gooden sends along this 30,000 frames per second ultra-slow motion video of popcorn popping, filmed on a $150,000 camera (alledgedly the slowest popcorn pop on YouTube!):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSZd33awqQk

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I've started holding weekly meetings at my house for the local O.C.D. club. I'm hoping they'll take one look around and start cleaning!

How does a brunette spice up her love life? She changes the batteries! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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[cyberjoke3000] June 8, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The original Monopoly game was anti-landlord. The game that’s now about cutthroat capitalism began as a lesson on wealth inequality. Read how its creator gave it away until someone copied it and claimed it as his own creation.
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/the-secret-anti-landlord-origin-of-monopoly

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What's black and steals things? A magpie, you racist bastard!

Men Who Are Important to Women: The doctor who says, "Take your clothes off." The dentist who says, "Open wide." The veterinarian who says, "And how's your little pussy?" The gardener who says, "Shall I mulch your bush?" The hairdresser who says, "Do you want it teased or blown?" The interior decorator who says, "Once it's in, you'll love it." The remodeler who says, "Tongue-in-groove just takes a little hammering." The hunter who shoots several times and then eats what he shoots. The milkman who says, "Do you want it in front or in back?" And the banker who says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest." 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Wednesday, June 7, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 7, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I just posted some more weird stuff from my attic, including the most expensive computer game ever sold!
http://www.ebay.com/usr/al_lowe

The Pacific Crest Trail stretches 2,660 miles from the Mexican border to the Canada. Here, in three minutes, is what you'd see if you took the months to walk it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=styiDn7YKhE

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

As I got out of the shower, I heard someone downstairs. I knew my wife was gone, so I grabbed my great-grandfather's antique rifle (which no longer worked) and crept downstairs. I came around the corner in my birthday suit with the gun raised -- only to find my wife unloading the dishwasher. "What are you doing?" she asked. I said, "I heard an intruder so I came down to scare him." Scanning my naked doughy body, she cracked, "You didn't need the gun!"

I asked my wife, "Since when do you have a weekly visit to the gynecologist?" She replied, "Ever since he came down with Parkinson's!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 6, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Today is the 30th birthday of Leisure Suit Larry. Yes, thirty years ago today it went into production. It was so big it wouldn't fit on one 5.25" floppy; it actually took two. When games were games and real men swapped floppies!

Since you and I will never get a chance to go ourselves, here's what it's like to ride in a aerobatic racing airplane like those used air races:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKeASpblXLw

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Going to bed early? Not leaving the house? Missing a party? My childhood punishments have become my adult goals!

A drunk was sobbing at the bar. "What's wrong, Don?" "Oh, man, I did something terrible," sniffed the drunk. "Last night I traded my wife to a guy for a bottle of Southern Comfort." "That's awful. And now you want her back?" "Yep." "You realized, too late, that you really love her, right?" "Oh, no," said the drunk. "I want her back because now I'm thirsty again!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Sunday, June 4, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 5, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Stop watching basketball and look here!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5911  

I have three auctions closing tomorrow night on eBay. Check 'em out:
http://www.ebay.com/usr/al_lowe

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Friday, June 2, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 2, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Am I the last person to learn about this? Google has an amazing new app that scans paper photographs quickly and easily with your smartphone! Perfectly. With no effort on your part. I’ve scanned a lot of photos in my day but this is so easy. Here's a promo video or just download it from the Play or Apple store and try it. It’s free.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEyDt0DNjWU

If you’re a game collector, you should check out my auctions on eBay this weekend:
http://www.ebay.com/usr/al_lowe 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

How can you make brunettes invisible? Add a blonde!

My love is like a candle. If you forget me, I will burn your f*¢king house down! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 1, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Why are doughnut boxes pink? The answer could only come out of Southern California. And is another American immigrant story.
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-pink-doughnut-boxes-20170525-htmlstory.html 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Men are like mascara: they run at the first sign of emotion!

I think I could do better than most male porn stars. Probably not at the sex stuff, but at least I wouldn't get distracted while cleaning the pool! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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[cyberjoke3000] May 31, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Can you name any aspect of technology that's gotten worse over the past generation? I can: keyboards. But now, mechanical keyboard switches are making a comeback. If you've never typed on a really good keyboard, here's what you've been missing:
https://gizmodo.com/whats-going-on-inside-your-keyboard-explained-1791536764

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

My wife says she's leaving me because I'm drunk all the time. I'm married?!

At the gym, I couldn't help ogling a gorgeous young woman doing squats. She saw me, got mad, and yelled at me, "I'm sick of being drooled over by pervs like you!" Then she put on her clothes and left. 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Monday, May 29, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 30, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Can't wait until December for a sneak peek at The Last Jedi? Let master photographer Annie Lebovitz show you around the set.
http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/05/star-wars-the-last-jedi-cover-portfolio

If you’re interested, my current eBay for sale items are listed here:
http://www.ebay.com/usr/al_lowe

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you hear about the shoplifter who stole a board game from Toys 'R' Us? He got Life.

My girlfriend yelled at me, "Stick it in!" I did. "Thrust hard!" I did. "Don't stop!" Finally, I said, "It's okay. I know how to unclog a toilet!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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[cyberjoke3000] May 29, 2017

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