It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
CyberJokester Dan Tender sends along "Maybe You Shouldn't Buy That," a web site devoted to some of the most expensive, yet worthless, junk in the world:
http://maybeyoushouldntbuythat.com/
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
A jazz trio opened its club date with a classic bebop tune at fleet tempo, then performed a Wayne Shorter composition filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant melodies and daring improvisation, and followed that with a medley of lesser-known Harold Arlen compositions played with exquisite taste. The audience sensed the vibe; sensitivity filled the space. Then a man stumbled to the bandstand and asked, "Can you play 'Lara's Theme' from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist politely replied, "We're jazz musicians; we don't take requests." The man pulled out three hundred dollar bills and laid them on the piano. The pianist mumbled to the bass player and drummer, "Lara's Theme in G." They played it beautifully, even though it obviously did not present the same challenge as the trio's regular repertoire. As the pianist played, he absent-mindedly gazed at the soundboard of his Steinway and wondered how its tonal characteristics would be altered if the grain of the soundboard ran perpendicular to the strings instead of parallel? As the bass player amused himself with an assortment of well-placed double-stops and harmonics, he wondered about the top of his mid-nineteenth century double bass, made by the French master, Paul Claudot, "How many times has this top been varnished? And how did the varnish of the past differ from today's? How would its resonance be affected if it had no varnish?" The drummer gazed onto the single ply, medium weight drumhead of his 1950s vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thought, "One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two..."
Mick ran into Paddy in the street. "Paddy, will you be drawing your bedroom curtains before ya make love to your wife in the future?" "Bejaysus! Why?" asked Paddy. "Because," said Mick, "the whole street was laughing atcha when they saw you making love yesterday afternoon." Paddy replied, "Stupid bastards! The laugh's on them. I wasn't home yesterday afternoon!"
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I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.
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