It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
I was saddened to learn today of the death of comedienne Phyllis Diller. I grew up watching her on TV and loved her perfect timing and self-deprecating humor. Today's first joke is a collection of just a few of her best one-liners.
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
Some jokes from the late Phyllis Diller: I realized on our first anniversary that my marriage was in trouble. My husband gave me luggage. It was packed! I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then boo! I never made Who's Who, but I did make What's That?! I spent two hours today at the beauty salon -- and that was just for the estimate! I'm so ugly, I once worked as a lampshade in a whorehouse! Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight! A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once! Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room! I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them! My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee! Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves! You know you're old when your blood type is “Discontinued!” You know you're old when your walker has an airbag! The best contraceptive for old people is nudity! Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing! The real reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you! Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle: keep away from children!
Last week, I received an invitation to a charity event for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, let them know!
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I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.
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