Wednesday, April 30, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 1, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you know that Google has added a "time travel" feature to Street View? PCmag explains and also shares several interesting Street View tours, including Venice, Grand Canyon, Poland's Wieliczka salt mine, and Angkor.
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2456988,00.asp

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Entropy isn't what it used to be.

 

A married couple was watching television when the guy got the urge for some hot sex with his wife. "Hey, baby!" he said, "How 'bout we go down on each other?" She replied, "Oh, I would, but I'm on my period." "I don't care. Let's do it anyway!" "Oh, okay. But what if someone comes to the door?" He said, "I'll just tell them I was eating a jelly sandwich." Sure enough, they just got going when the doorbell rang. The guy got up and answered the door. It was the FedEx guy. "Package for you. Sign here. So what's wrong with your face?" The man was prepared. "Oh, I was just eating a jelly sandwich." The FedEx guy replied, "Yeah? Well, you got some peanut butter on your nose!" 

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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 30, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Falko Sokolowski recently interviewed me; we had a lot of fun chatting. He broke up our conversation into six parts so you can listen to part or all of them here:
http://goo.gl/07CmFM 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

 

A woman told her gynecologist, "Something's wrong. I keep finding Costa Rican postage stamps in my vagina." The doctor examined her and said, "Those aren't postage stamps, they're banana stickers!" 

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Monday, April 28, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 29, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Still think extreme sports would be fun to casually try out? Watch this video as many times as it takes for you to realize you're wrong!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bt-NqV4Gq8 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a blonde? A 200% chance of getting screwed!

 

A brutally ugly woman approached me at the bar, squeezed my a$$ and said, "Give me your number, you sexy hunk." I said, "Have you got a pen?" She smiled and said, "Sure do!" I replied, "You'd better get back in it before your farmer notices you're missing!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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[cyberjoke3000] April 28, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Hey, Putin! Have a sight gag and chill!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4291 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Murphy asked his wife, "What's the first thing you'll do when I die?" She replied, "Hopefully, be acquitted!"

 

Pickup Line Fails With Responses: "Haven't we met before?" -- "Yeah; I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic!" "What do you do for a living?" -- "I'm a female impersonator!" "Want to go back to my place?" -- "I don't know; can two people fit under a rock?" "I'd love to get into your pants." -- "Too late; there's already an a$$hole in there!" "Where have you been all my life?" -- "For the first half of it, I wasn't born!" "Come on, we're both here for the same reason." -- "Right. To pick up chicks!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Friday, April 25, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 25, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Robert Yetter sends along these haunting images of Route 66 ghost towns. When Interstate 44 replaced The Mother Road, bustling towns withered and died. As one who grew up along 66 and has traveled its full length, these photos really brought back memories.

http://www.rd.com/slideshows/ghost-town-pictures 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Three logicians walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Do all of you want a drink?" The first logician said, "I don't know." The second logician said, "I don't know." The third logician said, "Yes!"

 

What's better than having sex with two eighteen-year-old girls at once? Nothing. 

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Thursday, April 24, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 24, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Matt Flinton sends along this MSN slideshow of abandoned movie sets. What happens to old movie sets that don't get tore down when the film company leaves?

http://on-msn.com/1hDMudQ

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist? Ask him to pronounce "unionized."

 

Little Suzi and her mother visited the zoo. Mary pointed at two monkeys mating and asked, "Mommy, what are those monkeys doing?" Mom thought quickly and said, "Uh, they're frying fish, honey." A little later, Mary saw two pandas mating. "Mommy, what are those pandas doing?" Mom was ready. "They're frying fish, honey." Later that evening, Mom and Dad disappeared into their bedroom and locked the door. When they came back downstairs, Little Suzi asked, "Mommy, what were you and Daddy doing?" Her mother said, "We were frying fish, honey." Little Suzi said, "I thought so. You've got tartar sauce on your lip!" 

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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 23, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

To promote their mobile GO app, HBO created this series of commercials showing the perils of watching HBO with your family. Brilliant indeed!

http://digg.com/2014/these-hbo-go-ads-are-brilliant 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Once I was a shepherd -- but I got fired for falling asleep during inventory!

 

A newly married couple showed up at a hotel and requested the honeymoon suite. "Do you have reservations?" asked the receptionist. The groom replied, "Only one: that she won't take it up the a$$!" 

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Monday, April 21, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 22, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Each month, the Cnet 100 list tracks the tech world's hottest products. Check it out:

http://www.cnet.com/cnet100 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting at a French café, writing "Being and Nothingness." He told the waiter, "I'd like a cup of coffee with no cream." The waiter said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're all out of cream. How about a cup of coffee with no milk?"

 

There are few problems that an orgasm can't solve. 

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[cyberjoke3000] April 21, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Do you want some fresh sight gags or not? Click here for yes:
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4281 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Whenever I sign someone's cast, I always write, "Final warning! You have one week to get the rest of the money!"

 

Learning the husband was infertile, a childless couple decided to try artificial insemination. The wife went to the clinic, undressed, apprehensively got on the table, and put her feet in the stirrups. She was really surprised when the doctor arrived and dropped his pants. "What the hell?!" she cried. "What's going on here?" The doctor asked, "Don't you want to get pregnant?" "Well, yes, but…" The doctor dropped his boxers and said, "We're all out of the bottled stuff, so you're just going to have to settle for what's on tap!" 

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Thursday, April 17, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 18, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Wildlife photographers love to get close to their subjects. Watch how these photographers used robots to study polar bears. Hint: Sometimes the bears win!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jATg3WXTnH0 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

First, buy a 3D printer. Then, print a 3D printer. Finally, return the 3D printer.

 

A little boy answered the knock at the door. A man asked, "Where's your mother, son?" The boy said, "She's in the backyard, having sex with our goat." The man said, "Son, you shouldn't make up stories like that!" "Come on. I'll show you." The man followed the little boy around the house and there, in the backyard, was a woman having sex with a goat. Disgusted, he said to the boy, "Gross! Doesn't that bother you?!" The little boy answered, "Naaaaaaaaaaaaah!" 

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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] April 17, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Not even I am old enough to remember all of these! (Of course, I never had enough money to fly back when they were current!) It’s “11 Things We No Longer See on Airplanes”

http://bit.ly/1j7HD8k

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody stops someone running with a fire extinguisher!

 

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist bastard! 

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[cyberjoke3000] April 16, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Frans Hofmeester filmed his daughter Lotte daughter every week from birth until her 14th birthday. Watch a newborn grow into a teenager in 4 minutes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH1x5aRtjSQ 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

My wife asked me to see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window!

 

Men want sex like their belts: if it's not tight enough, we'll move to another hole! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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