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Today's
Whenever I sign someone's cast, I always write, "Final warning! You have one week to get the rest of the money!"
Learning the husband was infertile, a childless couple decided to try artificial insemination. The wife went to the clinic, undressed, apprehensively got on the table, and put her feet in the stirrups. She was really surprised when the doctor arrived and dropped his pants. "What the hell?!" she cried. "What's going on here?" The doctor asked, "Don't you want to get pregnant?" "Well, yes, but…" The doctor dropped his boxers and said, "We're all out of the bottled stuff, so you're just going to have to settle for what's on tap!"
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