Friday, October 31, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 31, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Halloween, everyone!

 

On August 27, 1883, there was a noise louder than any since. How loud? Loud enough to hear 3,000 miles away! Why? Read this:

http://bit.ly/1slL4vd 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Today a man asked me for a donation to the neighborhood swimming pool so I gave him a glass of water! 

Going to MacDonald's for a salad is like going to a whore for a hug.

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 30, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

An IKEA store makes the perfect haunted house in this ad, inspired by The Shining:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqsonfSQk2I

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Three guys were fishing on a lake when Jesus Christ himself walked across the water to their boat. They were astonished! One man said humbly, "Oh, Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since 'Nam. Could you help me?" "Of course, my son," Jesus answered, touched the man's back and, for the first time in years, he was pain free. The second man asked, "My vision has gotten worse and worse. Is there anything you could do about my eyesight?" Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. As they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything clearly. Jesus turned to the third man, who raised his hands defensively and said, "Don't touch me! I'm drawin' disability!"

 

I don't normally sh¡t with the door open, but I didn't want to miss the in-flight movie! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 29, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

If you haven't seen "Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Brad Pitt," click this link immediately. There's even a surprise guest!

http://bit.ly/1z2wc95 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?" "I don't know." "You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna!" Pause. "What about the glue?" "I knew you'd get stuck there!"

 

A girl is said to be all grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is all grown up when he starts removing it. 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, October 27, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 28, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Last year, 2,161,530,000,000 Google made searches, but it can do so much more than just search. Lifebuzz lists "20 Awesome Things Google Can Do For You."

http://www.lifebuzz.com/google-tricks 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Mary was curious when she found some old negatives in a drawer, so she had them printed. She was pleasantly surprised to see they were of one of her first dates with her husband. When she showed him the photos, his face lit up. She was sure it was because of her younger, slimmer looks until he said, "Wow! Look! That's my first car!"

 

What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, October 26, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 27, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

We’ve lived near both San Francisco and Kansas City but I’ve just got to root for the Royals!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4561

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Husband: "What did you do with all that grocery money I gave you?" Wife: "Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"

 

Sue came home early and caught Bill masturbating in the kitchen. She dropped to her knees and gave him the blow job of his life. Afterwards, he said, "You haven't done that in years! Why now?" She answered, "I scrubbed the kitchen floor this morning and I'd rather brush my teeth than mop that damn floor again!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, October 23, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 24, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Yesterday was the anniversary of the first videotape recording broadcast in the U.S. in 1956. It featured Jonathan Winters, one of my favorites. To record the large amount of analog data, the tapes required were 2" wide and ran at high speeds. I wonder what those engineers would have thought of 4K HD recorded on a cell phone in near darkness onto a chip smaller than a fingernail? That's about the year I got my first audio recorder; even though it was the size of a microwave oven, it could only record 15 minutes on a 5" reel! (Why, yes -- I am a geek!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_tape_recorder 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A man asked his wife, "Does size matter?" She said, "No, of course not." He replied, "I disagree. You really should join a gym!"

 

Once I ate four cans of alphabet soup. Within hours, I had a huge vowel movement! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 23, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Do you have a free flashlight app on your cell phone? Me, too. If you do, you really should watch this short video. (The flashlight guys fooled me, too!)

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q8xz8xKEFvU

And then go here to download a flashlight that's 1/20th the size and won't steal your personal information:
http://www.snoopwall.com/open-source

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

April showers bring May flowers, but Mayflowers bring smallpox!

 

Did you ever notice: "strap on" spelled backwards is "no parts."  

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 22, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

California native Gentry Stein was recently named World Yo-Yo Champion in Prague. Watch why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMd2oKx0PTo 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Well, son, now that you're a father yourself, it's time you had your own copy of this." "Dad, you don't mean…" He unwrapped his new copy of 1,001 Dad Jokes. "Dad. I don't know what to say -- I'm honored." "Hi, Honored. I'm Dad!"

 

An officer pulled over a buxom blond and asked for her license. "I see you're supposed to be wearing glasses," he said. She replied, "Yes, but I have contacts." The officer was skeptical. "Hmm. Okay. If you pop them out, I'll let you go." She did. He said, "Very nice, but I meant your lenses!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, October 20, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 21, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

You’re Getting Old is a webpage that provides stats about your life so far in an awesome way, based on nothing but your birthday.

http://you.regettingold.com 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Once you get to heaven, are you stuck for eternity wearing the clothes you were buried in?

 

"Forgive me, Father, but I have sinned." "Tell me, my daughter, what did you do?" "I allowed my boyfriend to touch my belly button." "Oh, my dear -- that's not so bad." "But, Father? From the inside?!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, October 19, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 20, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

You see, the whole idea about me sending you to my website to see these sight gags was so you’d explore the rest of my site! Have you been doing that? Well, today’s the day you can make up for you past sins! <grin>
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4551 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Dad, it's cold in here!" "Go stand in the corner." "Okay, but what good will that do?" "It's ninety degrees!"

 

"So, John, how did you lose your virginity?" John replied, "I lost it to my high school prom date. And then, a few years later, I lost it again …in prison!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, October 16, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] October 17, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

What happens when you mashup some great Masters putts and some putt-putt hazards? You get this: "The Mini-Masters"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oQAjtXz-Vc 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A Dad came into his daughter's room with a tape measure while she lay in bed reading. From six feet away, he slowed extended the tape measure right at her face. When the end touched her cheek, she yelled, "Dad! What are you doing?" He grinned. "Measuring your patience!"

 

Cheating on your wife is like eating fast food: you do it, you enjoy it, but then you feel like sh¡t. 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:
Newer Posts Older Posts Home
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)