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Today's
Two men sat down at the bar. The first ordered, "I'll have H2O." The second said, "I'll have H2O, too." The first man lived.
"What's wrong, Dave?" asked the bartender. "You look down." "It's my five-year-old son," Dave replied. "Trouble at school?" "I wish. It's far worse. He got our gorgeous 18-year-old babysitter pregnant." "Get out, man. That's impossible!" gasped the bartender. Dave sighed. "Oh, no, it's not. He stuck a pin in all my condoms!"
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