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Today's
A blonde was the only passenger on a two-seat airplane when the pilot had a heart attack. She found the microphone and radioed, "Mayday! Mayday! The pilot's had a heart attack!" Ground control responded, "Don't worry, ma'am. I'll talk you down. Just do as I say. First, tell me your height and position." "Five foot 4 and I'm in the right-front seat." Ground control: "Okay. Now repeat after me: Our Father... which art in Heaven...."
The wife suggested I get myself a penis enlarger. So I did; she's twenty-one and her name's Lucy!
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I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.
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