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Today's
For my New Year's resolution, I started a new diet plan. So far, I've lost $200!
Two middle-aged couples went camping, the men sleeping in one tent and the women in the other. At two in the morning, one man woke up with a start. "Oh, man!" he cried, "I gotta go find my wife. I just woke up with the biggest erection I've ever had!" His friend replied, "Do you want me to come along with you?" "What? Why on Earth would I want you to come along?" "Because you're holding my d¡ck!"
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