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Today's
I won a million dollars in the lottery. I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now all I have is $999,999.75.
A plane crash left thirteen people stranded on a desert island, twelve women and a single man, Tom. Soon everyone was horny, so they worked out an arrangement: Tom would service two women each day and then he could take Sundays off. Tom thought this was a great idea but, after months of endless sex, it was apparent that he wasn't up to such "heavy lifting." One day, as he sat on the beach recuperating from his "job," he saw a boat. "Rescue!" thought Tom. But the boat crashed on the reef and one haggard man swam to shore. Still stranded, but at least Tom would have help. Tom greeted the newcomer. "Oh my God! Am I glad to see you!" The new man replied, "Oh, darling! I'm glad to see you too!" Tom moaned. "Oh, sh¡t. There goes Sundays!"
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