Thursday, September 24, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 24, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Have you ever noticed how restaurants and TV shows refrain from singing “Happy Birthday?” That's because for decades they've been forced to pay royalties if they did. But this week a U.S. District Judge in Los Angeles ruled that the song is in the public domain. He said the copyright filed in 1935 by the Summy-Birchard Company applied only to one specific arrangement and not to the song itself; that they never acquired the rights to the song's lyrics; and the defendant’s claims were “implausible and unreasonable.” So at your next birthday party, sing away, even if it's in public! (If you’re interested, the entire 43-page court case is here:)

http://www.shadesofgraylaw.com/media/00065570.pdf 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"You look lovely, my dear!" gushed the wedding guest to the bride. She then whispered, "Whatever happened to that ditzy blonde your groom used to date?" The bride replied, "I dyed my hair."

A New Zealand man was on trial for fornicating with a sheep. The key witness was an old fella who testified, "Well, I saw this sheep just'a eatin' grass and then the defendant walked up from behind the sheep kinda quiet-like and he unbuckled his belt and he pulled that sheep close." "And then what?" "Well, they kinda shook around for a while. But, afterwards, that sheep turned around an' ...licked him!" One jury member leaned over to another and said, "Ya know, a good sheep'll do that!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, September 17, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 17, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Bjorn Wielens reminded me that a while back I recommended Hola after it worked well for me to watch NetFlix (which I pay for) when I was out of the U.S. But Hola has changed. If you use it, read this article in Lifehacker. I did and uninstalled Hola immediately.
http://bit.ly/1JcnW69

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Rabinovich, I salute you! You been married to Sarah for thirty years, yet whenever I see you in the mall, you're holding hands." Rabinovich replied, "I'm afraid that, if I turn loose, she'll buy something!"

A princess, walking near the royal garden pond, noticed a really ugly frog. She picked it up and said, "My you are an ugly frog!" To her surprise, the frog replied, "I know, I know. I had a terrible spell cast on me." "If I kiss you, will you turn into a prince?" "I doubt it, Lady. A spell this bad'll is gonna take at least a blowjob!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 16, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Bob Yetter sends along this video of a Boeing 757's demise at the jaws of a Cat. After 25 years, its time is up and its materials are being recycled.
http://bcove.me/6gbonqx7 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

College Major Slogans Chemistry: Where alcohol is a solution. Biochemistry: Spend four years aspiring to discover a cure for cancer and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo. Archaeology: If you don't know what it is, it was ceremonial. Information Technology: Let me Google that for you. Computer Science (for straight girls): The odds are good but the goods are odd. Political Science: Your opinion is wrong. Engineering: The science of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore. Structural Engineering: Because architects don't understand physics. Philosophy: Think about it. Communications: We'll teach you how to convince your friends your degree has meaning. Linguistics: Study 17 languages; become fluent in none. Criminal Justice: We're here because of Law & Order reruns. Statistics: Everything's made up; the numbers don't matter. Anthropology: It may get you laid but won't get you paid. Zoology: Because you can't major in kittens. Pre-med: I'll switch majors in two years. English: So you want to be a teacher. Astrophysics: Within an order of magnitude. Creative Writing: Job security is for pussies. Physics: Everything you learned last semester is wrong. Nursing: Save lives while fighting not to take your own. Marine Biology: I wanted to play with dolphins but instead, I look at algae. Accounting: Sell your soul for money. Finance: Accounting was too hard. Art History: Because you thought making art was pointless. Graphic Design: We aren't artists, we're designers; there's a difference!

He bragged, "I have a 10-inch dick." She smiled, "I find that hard to swallow!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

[cyberjoke3000] September 15, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

In response to my recent classical quartet video, CyberJokester Myron Clements sends along "Cello Wars," a musical Star Wars parody with light saber bows and Darth Vader on accordion! Funny!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgAlQuqzl8o

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A student who wanted into an advanced course was being interviewed by the admittance committee. The professor asked, "Would you rather answer ten easy questions or one difficult question?" The student immediately said, "One difficult question." The professor smiled. He had him! "Young man, tell me: which came first, day or night?" The boy quickly replied, "Day, sir." The professor grinned, thinking, "I got you!" He asked, "How?" The boy was dismissive. "I'm sorry, sir, but that's a second question!" Admission secured.

An elderly couple was considering having sex, but she cautioned, "I'd love to, but I'm afraid my back might peter out." He agreed, "I'd love to, too, but I'm afraid my peter might back out!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, September 13, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 14, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The kids are back in school. Enjoy a few thousand sight gags today!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5011

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Kids today have got it so easy. When I was a kid, we had to walk through nine feet of shag carpeting just to change the TV channel!

Modern Co-Worker Sex Contract: I, ____________, hereby surrender all possibilities of friendship, commitment, marriage, guilt-trips and near-pregnancies in exchange for one night of USDA-approved fondling and fornication. I will not return to the scene of said activities, nor call, write or otherwise contact or harass the co-signer for no less than thirty days (and nights) after such said activities. I surrender all rights to propagate rumors and dirty looks from myself and my friends and will treat co-signer with all the respect due a stranger. I will say "Hi" in a friendly, neutral tone if we pass within twelve feet of each other. Upon completion of the afore activities, I will not leave underwear, car keys, earrings or any other knick-knacks lying about or hidden somewhere in the co-signer's abode for the purpose of returning to said abode and thus breaking the no-contact clause of this agreement. I furthermore state that I am of sound mind and desirable body and will not call said co-signer by anything other than his or her given name, nor reminisce about some former slimeball/great lover who wore the same cologne or boxer shorts. I agree to pay one-half of all laundry fees needed after prescribed activity. Signed, ____________. 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, September 11, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 11, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Peter Slocombe sends along this classical quartet that everyone can enjoy: Hamburg's Salut Salnn performing "Wettstreit zu viert."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKezUd_xw20 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Never invite cannibals to your wedding. They like to toast the bride and groom!

A man asked the clothing store clerk for wooden pants. He tried them on, but said, "I don't like them. They have splinters! Do you have any steel pants?" The lady clerk brought him some, he tried them on, but said, "I don't like them. In the summer, they'll be hot and in the winter, they'll be cold. Do you have any glass pants?" She got him some glass pants and he tried them on. The clerk said, "When you asked for wooden pants, I thought you were weird. When you asked for steel pants, I thought you were crazy. But now that you're wearing the glass pants, I can clearly see your nuts!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Alamat email alternatif telah ditambahkan ke account Anda

YAHOO!
Hai,
Pada tanggal 11 September 2015 pukul 11:01, alamat email alternatif berikut ini telah ditambahkan ke account Yahoo Anda:
dwianaminawati.cyberjoke@blogger.com
Anda sekarang dapat menggunakan alamat email alternatif ini untuk secara aman memulihkan account Yahoo Anda dan memverifikasi identitas Anda.

Jika Anda menambahkan alamat email ini, Anda sudah siap.

Jika tidak, silakan pilih tautan ini untuk menghapus alamat email dan mengubah kata sandi Anda.


Terima kasih telah mengambil langkah tambahan ini untuk menjaga keamanan account Anda.
Yahoo
Balasan yang dikirim ke alamat email ini tidak dapat dijawab.
Posted by at No comments:

Silakan verifikasi alamat email alternatif Anda

YAHOO!
Hai,
Pada tanggal 11 September 2015 pukul 11:01, alamat email alternatif, dwianaminawati.cyberjoke@blogger.com, telah ditambahkan ke account Yahoo Anda: no*******.

Silakan gunakan tautan ini untuk menyelesaikan verifikasi.

Semoga hari Anda menyenangkan!

Yahoo

Jika account ini bukan miliki Anda, pilih berhenti di sini untuk berhenti menerima pemberitahuan email dari account Yahoo ini.

Balasan yang dikirim ke alamat email ini tidak dapat dijawab.
Posted by at No comments:

[cyberjoke3000] September 10, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Matt Flinton sends along this tip: if you need to send someone's contact information from Outlook, right-click the contact and choose "Forward Contact." You can send it as an Outlook business card or as a standard email message. 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Craigslist ad: "David G: contact me soon! Bring three rings: engagement, wedding, and teething. Have news. Debbie."

There may be a sucker born every minute ...but swallowers are few and far between! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 9, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Ken Rice sends along the "Brooklyn Bar Menu Generator" for those of you who have recently purchased a bar in Brooklyn but are bereft of original ideas. Use this handy web tool to generate a name and menu for your fine establishment – with absolutely no imagination needed!

http://www.brooklynbarmenus.com 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A new bride went crying to her mother. "Mom, I can't get Dave to do anything. There's stuff around the house that needs fixing and he keeps putting it off." "Honey, after being married to your father for twenty-nine years, I've found that there's only one way to get him to do anything." "What?" Her mother replied, "I tell him to do it and then add, 'unless you're too old and I should hire somebody'!"

"So how was your date last night?" "Great! What a nice guy. At dinner, he asked if I'd like to have breakfast with him. I said, 'Sure.' So he asked, 'Shall I phone you or nudge you?' " 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, September 7, 2015

[cyberjoke3000] September 8, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I've seen hundreds of medieval paintings but until I watched this short video I never knew why the babies in those paintings look like ugly old men! It has to do with homunculus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFcF_qfLHeQ 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A bachelor is a man who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

A ten-year-old boy swaggered into a bar and told the barmaid, "Give me a double Scotch on the rocks." She asked, "What are you trying to do, get me in trouble?" The boy replied, "Nah, we can have sex later. First I need a drink!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

[cyberjoke3000] September 7, 2015



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Labor Day! Enjoy your day off work. Or, if you’re not in the U.S., have a nice Monday.
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5001

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Definition of "Electile Dysfunction:" The inability to become aroused over any candidate!

What has four legs and eats pussy? Me and Ellen Degeneres! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:
Newer Posts Older Posts Home
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)