It's Al Lowe's
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Today's
College Major Slogans Chemistry: Where alcohol is a solution. Biochemistry: Spend four years aspiring to discover a cure for cancer and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo. Archaeology: If you don't know what it is, it was ceremonial. Information Technology: Let me Google that for you. Computer Science (for straight girls): The odds are good but the goods are odd. Political Science: Your opinion is wrong. Engineering: The science of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore. Structural Engineering: Because architects don't understand physics. Philosophy: Think about it. Communications: We'll teach you how to convince your friends your degree has meaning. Linguistics: Study 17 languages; become fluent in none. Criminal Justice: We're here because of Law & Order reruns. Statistics: Everything's made up; the numbers don't matter. Anthropology: It may get you laid but won't get you paid. Zoology: Because you can't major in kittens. Pre-med: I'll switch majors in two years. English: So you want to be a teacher. Astrophysics: Within an order of magnitude. Creative Writing: Job security is for pussies. Physics: Everything you learned last semester is wrong. Nursing: Save lives while fighting not to take your own. Marine Biology: I wanted to play with dolphins but instead, I look at algae. Accounting: Sell your soul for money. Finance: Accounting was too hard. Art History: Because you thought making art was pointless. Graphic Design: We aren't artists, we're designers; there's a difference!
He bragged, "I have a 10-inch dick." She smiled, "I find that hard to swallow!"
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