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Today's
My grandfather has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the city zoo!
Your Relationship May Be in Trouble If: Your dinner is served in the dog's dish. The UPS guy comes out wearing your bathrobe. You have voicemail from a Jerry Springer show producer. Your mail is now addressed "Current Resident." A mortician shows up to measure you for a new suit. Her mother looks at you and laughs. She urges you, "Stir your coffee well, dear." Your favorite easy chair is plugged into a wall outlet. She buys you a shirt with a target on it. You come home and all that's left of your house is the foundation. She gets a new tattoo in her bikini region and it's someone else's name!
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