It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
Jewish marriage advice: "Never marry a beautiful person because they may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may also leave you, but then: who cares?"
Yesterday my wife received the following letter from our local Target store: Dear Madam: your husband has been causing trouble in our store. We request you leave him at home. Our video surveillance team noted the following incidents: He sneaked boxes of condoms into other people's carts. He set all the alarm clocks to go off at 5-minute intervals. He left a trail of tomato juice on the floor in front of the women's restroom. He told an employee in an official voice: "Code 3 in housewares. Stat!" He tried to put a bag of candy on layaway. He moved the "Caution -- Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area. He set up a tent in the camping department and told children they could come inside if they brought a blanket from the bedding department -- and twenty obliged. He answered a clerk's offer for assistance by screaming, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" While shopping for a gun in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where he could find the antidepressants. He darted around the store humming the theme from Mission Impossible. He practiced his "Madonna look" in the auto department with different sizes of metal funnels. He hid in a clothing rack and, as people browsed through, cried, "Pick me! Pick me!" But the final straw was when, after an announcement over the P. A. system, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, "Oh, no! The voices are back!"
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