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Today's
A woman, about five-foot-two and pleasingly plump, had a minor accident. The E.R. nurse asked for her height and weight. She said, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." The nurse looked her up and down and said, "Hon, this ain't the Internet!"
Two middle-aged men were chatting on the golf course. "So, Bill, I finally hooked up with my high school crush last night." Impressed, Bill was all set to congratulate him when his friend continued, "But things got awkward; she asked me to her prom!"
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