Joke For All: [cyberjoke3000] December 26, 2014

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Boxing Day!

Last week, TV lost two great late night comedians: Stephen Colbert, of course, but also Craig Ferguson. I was a little slow to start watching Craig, but once I started I couldn't stop. He did his best to deconstruct the late night talk show format, e.g., this running gag with his "not-a-real-horse" Secretariat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbVh6WvqNMk
And if, like me, you find that funny, Vox has a loving recap of his tenure:
http://www.vox.com/2014/12/19/7422599/craig-ferguson-finale

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Dear Ma and Pa: I'm well. Hope you are, too. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell 'em to join up quick 'fore all the spots are taken. I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 o'clock, but I'm getting' so I like sleepin' late. Tell Walt and Elmer all we do 'fore breakfast is smooth our cot and shine some stuff. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, or fire to lay. Men gotta shave but it ain't so bad -- there's warm water. Breakfast is heavy on the trimmings (like fruit, juice, cereal, eggs, etc.) but weak on chops, taters, ham, steak, eggplant, pie and other regular food. But Walt and Elmer could always sit by some city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours oughta hold ya till noon when they feed ya again. We go on marches, which the sergeant says are to harden us, but I guess it ain't my place to tell him no different. We only march about as far as our mailbox and then the city boys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The sarge is like a schoolteacher--he nags a lot. Our captain is like the school principal. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown -- they don't bother us none. Tell Walt and Elmer I keep getting' medals for shooting. I don't know why -- the bulls-eye's as big as a chipmunk's head and it don't move. And it ain't shootin' at ya like them Higgett boys! All you gotta do is lie there all comfortable and fire. I don't even havta load my own cartridges -- they bring 'em out in boxes! We also have somethin' they call hand-to-hand combat training where we wrestle them city boys. I'm real careful 'cause they seem to break easy! I'm about the best that's here, 'cept for Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake -- him I only beat once. Tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before ever'body gets onto this deal and comes stampedin' in. Your loving daughter, Mary Lou.

I hate it when the other guy goes for a handshake and I go for an open-mouth kiss. Oh, great. Now I probably won't get this job.

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