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Today's
You May Be a Nurse if… When using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and then turn off the faucet with your elbow. You can almost see the germs on doorknobs and telephones. When you tell a man you met for the first time that you're a nurse, he expects you to laugh hysterically when he asks for a sponge bath, as if that was the first time you've heard that. Your favorite dream is when you leave a patient's bedside a mess and then tell some doctor to clean it up. Men assume you're great in bed because of all the nurse porn. Everyone tells you their aches and pains. You steam whenever you see a TV nurse do nothing but talk on the phone and flirt with doctors. You can watch even the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards. You've ever used a plastic 30cc cup for a shot glass.
As the Queen said, "If this chastity belt doesn't work, I'm screwed!"
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