Wednesday, April 12, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] April 13, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

So why do airlines sell more seats than they have available? That doctor who was forcibly removed from his United flight last weekend makes everyone wonder. Here’s why:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWksuyry5w 

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AL


Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Rules Of The Air: Every takeoff is optional; landings are mandatory. Flying isn't dangerous; crashing is. It's better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. Good judgment comes from experience; unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. The propeller is that big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool; when it stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating. When in doubt, hold your altitude; no one has ever collided with the sky. You can walk away from a good landing; after a great landing, they can use the plane again. Learn from the mistakes of others because you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. If it takes full power to taxi, you landed with your gear up. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger; if you pull the stick back, they get smaller; if you keep pulling the stick all the way back, they get bigger again. Keep your number of landings equal to your number of take-offs. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing; sadly, no one knows what they are. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience; your goal is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the other bag. Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour versus the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. The pilot's three most useless things are: altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

A woman was talking to her hairdresser. "My daughter has a crazy idea about losing her hair." "What do you mean?" asked the beautician. "Last weekend, I heard her tell her best friend that she hoped she'd be balled soon!" 


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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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