[cyberjoke3000] January 31, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Use Gmail? If so, you know it normally includes everything in your reply. But what if you only want to include a portion? Just highlight what you want before clicking Reply and only that portion will be included.

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A retired man volunteered to entertain patients in a nursing home. He weakly sang songs, played his portable keyboard with wrong notes, and lamely told jokes. As he packed up to leave, he said, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "And the same to you!"

 

Why do women develop wrinkles around their eyes? Because, when asked for a simple little favor, they squint and say, "Suck what?!" 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 30, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Thinking of changing mobile carriers? Don't, until you've been to OpenSignal. It shows you the signal strength for each of the four major carriers, overlaid on a Google map. Just enter your zip code to see nearby towers.

http://opensignal.com 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Phil Hanley says: I used to live with my ex-girlfriend. Sad. I thought we be together for the rest of our lease!

 

Confucius says: Is good to know how to masturbate; may come in handy. 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 29, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I’ve started Tweeting more lately; if you haven’t already, follow me at @allowe.

 

If you miss the old file search in Windows 8, you can still have it. Type Win+E to open Windows Explorer, and type Ctrl+F or F3 and you're searching in Explorer. But remember: Explorer only searches the current folder and below; you may have to change folders to get where you want to be. I keep a shortcut to open Explorer into My Documents. Voila! Two keystrokes and I’m searching!

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Every night I see the same people down at the casino. I'm beginning to think they have a gambling problem!

 

What happens when you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps on coming and coming and... 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 28, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Winter weather got you down? Get back up here:
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/sightgagbrowser.php?j=3701

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Last night I heard a new band called "1,023 MB." They're named that because they've never gotten a gig!

 

The doctor had just completed his examination of a gorgeous red-haired beauty. "I would suggest to you, young lady, that you discontinue your wild life. Stop drinking so much, stop smoking so much, and above all, eat properly and get to bed early." Then he smiled and added, "Have dinner with me tonight and I'll see to it that you eat well and are in bed by nine!" 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 26, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

You’ll work faster if you use the keyboard more and your mouse less. Here's a list of Windows 7 keyboard shortcuts to start with. Click the Start button, then click "Help and Support" in the right-hand pane. Type "shortcuts" into the search box, click "Keyboard Shortcuts," and then click "General Keyboard Shortcuts."

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A father and his young daughter returned from the grocery store with all the healthy items on his wife's list, plus a box of sugar cookies. He noticed his wife's glare but, before she could say anything, he offered, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories." She looked skeptical. "Good. But how would you know? You never read labels." He grinned. "Because we ate a third of them on our way home!"

 

Frustration is the first time you discover you can't do it a second time. Panic is the second time you discover you can't do it a first time! 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 24, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Another of the Sierra gang has a Kickstarter campaign going: Ken Allen, who wrote music for many Sierra games, will create new arrangements and recordings of many of his compositions using modern digital techniques so you'll get to hear the familiar music as he originally intended it to sound. Support him today and help him reach his goal!
http://kck.st/WMfsw1

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What is colic? An excellent reminder for parents to use birth control!

 

A good-looking woman at the bar last night took a long look at my beer gut and sarcastically asked, "Is that Corona or Budweiser?" I told her, "You tell me; there's a tap underneath: taste it!" 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 23, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The website Great Old Games has announced its 500th title -- and it's the Leisure Suit Larry Collection! Games 1 - 6 (but not 7), all in one bundle, all for only ten bucks! If you want the authentic, real versions of the historic games, this may be your last chance to nab them!

http://www.gog.com/gamecard/leisure_suit_larry

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A young Orthodox married couple was expecting their first baby. Unfortunately, Miriam's water broke on Shabbos, so they had no choice but to call a taxi to take them to the hospital. Because Moshe wanted to minimize the Shabbos violation, he told the dispatcher to send only a non-Jewish driver. Their taxi quickly arrived, but as they were getting in, the taxi's radio crackled, "So? Have you picked up the anti-Semites?"

 

Did you hear about the unfortunate accident at the nudist colony dance? A midget was slapped silly! 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 22, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Jed R. Feiman tells me that Mensa has a free offer for the rest of January: you can take their online test, which is usually $18, for free! Think you're smart? Find out for sure:
https://www.us.mensa.org/join/mht

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A man walked into a flower shop. "I'd like some flowers, please." "Certainly, sir. What did you have in mind?" He shrugged. "Well, uh, I'm not sure, ah, I uh..." The clerk interrupted. "Maybe I can help; what exactly did you do wrong?!"

 

Did you hear about the Army nurse who ate popcorn in bed? She found a Colonel between her legs! 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 21, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Neither Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. nor Barack Obama ever visited my CyberGag 3000™ page; what became of them?
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/sightgagbrowser.php?j=3691

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Why do the French eat only one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf!

 

A policeman sent his wife to a resort for a two-week vacation, but he couldn't get off-duty until the second week. Arriving at the hotel late in the evening and horny as hell, he found her in the dining room and immediately wanted to make love. She whispered, "Oh, darling, I've missed you too, but we can't do it here! Let's go do it on the beach." He readily agreed. The beach was dark and deserted and they quickly got to it. Suddenly, a policeman appeared. "Put your clothes on! You can't do that in public!" Embarrassed, the husband said, "You're right, officer, but I'm a fellow cop and I haven't had sex in a week. Is there anyway you could cut me a break?" The cop considered. "Well, okay. You're a colleague and it is your first time. But I've got to run her in. This is the third time this week that I've caught her!" 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 18, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I swear the link to the cool garage worked just before I sent it, but these things happen. Here's another link that worked just now (thanks, Zadir!). Click it quick before it disappears, too!
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82863230/

 

At the Museum of Endangered Sounds website, you can hear sounds from yesteryear, including film projectors, telephones with actual ringing bells, film cameras, the phone company time lady, and much more.

http://savethesounds.info

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

It was their first date and he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his driving, and even his barber. Finally, he said, "But enough about me. Let's talk about you." She breathed a sigh of relief and inhaled. But before she could begin, he added, "What do you think about me?"

 

What do blondes do for foreplay? Remove their underwear! 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 17, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Sorry about the yesterday’s CyberJoke 3000™ being tardy. I sent it out at the regular time, but Yahoo was “closed for upgrades” and didn’t forward it to you for many hours. Here’s hoping this one goes through faster!

 

CyberJokester Stephen J Palmer sends along this video showing a $5,000,000 garage. You may think you've seen some great garages, but...
http://bit.ly/11vYpEl 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A man walked into a bar and ordered a pint of beer. The bartender served him and said, "That'll be five dollars." The man pulled out a twenty. The bartender said, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't accept that." So he pulled out a ten. The bartender rejected that, too. The man looked puzzled. "What's going on here?" he asked. The bartender replied, "Can't you see? This is a singles bar!"

 

Doug asked his carpool if they'd mind stopping at the drugstore. "Sorry, guys, but I've got to pick up some patches for my wife. She quit smoking." "No problem, Doug. Good for her!" "Actually, it's good for me, too," grinned Doug. "I told her, 'Tell me anytime you have the urge to put something in your mouth to suck on'!" 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 16, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester and PC Magazine security guru Neil Rubenking warns that even keeping Java updated would not have helped you after this latest problem was discovered and before Oracle patched it. He recommends disabling Java. If some websites don‘t work, you can always re-enable it. Read his article "How to Disable Java" here:
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2414191,00.asp

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Three old guys were vacationing at the beach and enjoying the young women. When one beauty walked by, the first old guy said, "I'd like to give her a hug." The second old guy said, "I'd like to give her a kiss." The third old guy said, "What was that other thing we used to do?"

 

What's the difference between a drug dealer shipping cocaine and a man receiving oral sex? One loads his blow... 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___

[cyberjoke3000] January 15, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

In case you haven't heard, Java has had another serious security flaw. If you haven't updated Java in the last day or so, go here:
http://www.java.com/en/download
and download it now. (Be sure to clear that checkmark unless you actually want it to install the Ask.com toolbar.) 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

---

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Why aren't stadiums air-conditioned? There's no need; they're full of fans!

 

Four women were in the midst of a lively discussion when the topic turned to their husbands' members. The British lady said, "My husband's is like a gentleman -- it stands up when I enter the room." The Russian lady said, "My husband's is like an army -- you never know if it will attack from the front or the rear." The French lady said, "My husband's is like a theater curtain -- once the act is over, it drops down." The American lady said, "My husband's is like a rumor -- it moves from one mouth to another!" 

---

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

__._,_.___

Your email settings: Individual Email|Traditional
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch to Fully Featured
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe

__,_._,___