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Today's
A man walked into a bar and ordered a pint of beer. The bartender served him and said, "That'll be five dollars." The man pulled out a twenty. The bartender said, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't accept that." So he pulled out a ten. The bartender rejected that, too. The man looked puzzled. "What's going on here?" he asked. The bartender replied, "Can't you see? This is a singles bar!"
Doug asked his carpool if they'd mind stopping at the drugstore. "Sorry, guys, but I've got to pick up some patches for my wife. She quit smoking." "No problem, Doug. Good for her!" "Actually, it's good for me, too," grinned Doug. "I told her, 'Tell me anytime you have the urge to put something in your mouth to suck on'!"
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