It's
Yes, there are jokes here today; they’re just down a couple of screens! <grin> But first, I just have to get this off my chest.
This is only to those of you who have no choice for your ISP; who paid too much for service; who endured insulting, poor customer service; who waited for a service call; or endured a lousy connection. If that's you, join me in speaking out! Right now, we just might change things in this country.
Before Comcast can take over Time Warner Cable (and with it much of our nation’s cable TV and Internet service) consumers get to say what we think of this deal.
I just wrote the five members of the FCC and told them what I think of allowing one company to control what we see, how fast we see it, and how much we pay. If you are sick of the "no competition" cable and Internet market, won't you please join me?
I've been a member of Consumers Union for 46 years. I believe in their objectivity and trust them implicitly. Most of the serious buying decisions in my life have been based on their advice. You can trust them not to misuse your information.
Please, go to their website and add your opposition to this mega-merger.
The FCC is currently taking public comment, but for only a short time before they make a decision about this merger. You know that Comcast’s lobbyists will flood the Commissioners with feel-good comments, so help make sure the Commissioners hear from those of us who want more competition in cable and Internet, not even less!
We have real momentum to stop this merger. Help us build it: add your opposition here. And then forward this email to your friends and family so they can add their voices. Thank you!
Okay. Now here are the jokes.
Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.
Today's
The priest said solemnly to the young father, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared?" The young man replied, "I think so. My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming." "I don't mean that. I mean, are you prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure, Father. I bought a keg of beer and a case of whiskey!"
Things Not To Say To A Cop: "I only had one officer, Mr. Keg." "You'll never get cuffs on me, you pussy!" "Back off, Barney! I'm packin'!" "Want to race to the station?" "Hurry up, will ya? The bars close in twenty minutes!" "Hey, wasn't your daughter the pork queen?" "How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me!" "Officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?" "I'm surprised you stopped me. Dunkin Donuts is running a 3-for-1 special!" "Here, hold my beer while I find my license." "You must'a done 130 to catch me!" "I thought cops had to be in good shape." "Damn, my radar detector's unplugged." "I was gonna be a cop, but instead I finished high school." "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?" "How about this time I give you a breathalyzer test: stick this in your mouth and blow!" "Didn't I see you get your fat ass kicked on Cops last week?" "Wow, you look just like the guy in the photo next to my girlfriend's bed." "Bad cop! No donut!" "I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing that ticket." "So, uh, are you on the take?" "Thanks, officer! Yesterday's cop gave me a warning, too!" "Do you know why you pulled me over?" "That 9 mm of yours is nothing compared to this .44 magnum!" "When you smack the crap outta me, be sure to smile for the video."
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I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.
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