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Today's
A big-city lawyer represented a railroad in a lawsuit filed by a rancher whose prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only asked to be paid the bull's fair value. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney cornered the rancher first to try to get him to settle out of court. He argued until the rancher agreed to accept only half of his original request. Once the papers were signed and the rancher got paid, the lawyer just had to gloat: "You know, I put one over on you. There's no way I could have won this case. On the morning that train went through your ranch, the engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose drinking coffee. There wasn't a single witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The farmer replied, "Well, that's okay, because I was a little worried myself. You see, that bull came home this morning!"
"We made love four times last night and this morning my girlfriend told me she could never love another man." "That's nice. My wife and I only made love once last night." "And what did she say this morning?" "Why are you stopping?"
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