Thursday, March 30, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 31, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Chain of Fools has a new video which shows, in under ten minutes, him installing every version of Windows, in sequence, on the same machine. Amazingly, Win10 runs 30-year-old games and other programs, even with a dozen upgrades!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH1BKPSGcxQ 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I watched golf broadcasts on TV until my doctor said that wasn't enough exercise. So now I watch tennis.

The hot young lady was at confession. "My cousin and I were all alone in my house and we ended up in my bedroom..." "Yes, my child?" said the priest gently. "I was on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand in my... in my..." "Go on." "In my panties," she stammered, blushing behind the screen. "And he touched me and touched me until I got so wet I couldn't control myself." "Continue." "I pulled down his pants and his cock popped out, stiff and tall, and he started to shove it in me so hard..." "Yes, yes. Go on!" he urged, breathing heavily. "And then the front door slammed..." "Oh, shit!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Wednesday, March 29, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 30, 2017

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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 29, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

In 1933, Art Tatum recorded his version of Tiger Rag and it’s a 2-minute masterpiece. Watch the notes fly by on YouTube and remember: he improvised this!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xu7UP4wdn7I 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

A cute little boy, all dressed up in his cowboy outfit with hat, chaps, vest, boots, and two six-guns, entered an ice cream shop and ordered a banana split. The woman behind the counter smiled and asked, "Do you want chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream?" "Yes, please." "Do you want chocolate syrup on the chocolate ice cream, strawberry syrup on the strawberry, and pineapple on the vanilla?" "Yes, please." "Do you want whipped cream and a cherry on top?" "Yes, please." Finally she asked, "Do you want your nuts crushed?" The little fella snapped back, "Do you want your tits shot off!?" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Monday, March 27, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 28, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I'm a big fan of Google Maps (and also Waze!). Now Maps lets you share your location with a friend, perfect for meeting a friend or letting your spouse know where you are.
http://bit.ly/2mtJLj0 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Bill came home drunk again. It was late and he knew his wife wouldn't open the door so he decided to try something else. He rang the bell. His wife asked, "Who is it?" "Flowers for the pretty lady." She opened the door and said, "Where are the flowers?" Bill slurred, "Where's the pretty lady?!"

Two gay guys were dancing when one asked the other, "Why do you always get an erection when we dance together?" He replied, "Because you dance like an asshole!" 

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Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Sunday, March 26, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 27, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Remember: there’s never a “final four” sight gags!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5811 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"There's no need for me to come out to your house," said the doctor to the worried caller. "I've checked my files and your uncle isn't really sick. He just thinks he's sick." The next day, the doctor called back to confirm his diagnosis had been correct. "How's your uncle doing today?" he asked. "Not so good," came the reply. "Today he thinks he's dead."

Never play with a woman's heart because she only has one. But remember: she has two tits! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Thursday, March 23, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 24, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Bob Yetter sends along Las Vegas magician Mac King doing the famous rope trick. I know it's not really magic, but he sure does it smoothly!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmI9uwYzH9o 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

An investment banker was interviewing a young lawyer as in-house counsel. "Mr. Peterson, would you say you're honest?" "Honest? I'll tell you about honesty. My father lent me $100,000 for my education and I paid him back every penny as soon as I tried my first case." "That's impressive. What sort of case was it?" "Dad sued me for his money."

What's the quickest way to get into a blonde's pants? Pick them up off the floor! 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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[cyberjoke3000] March 23, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester (and master game designer) Bob Bates tells me that Half Moon isn’t the only beer pipeline. Munich's city breweries use pipelines to fill underground tanks at its Octoberfest sites. I should have known!
http://bit.ly/2mV8WXV 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

A homeless man in Venice Beach had a sign that read, "Dirty Joke $1." That seemed a fair price, so I gave him a buck. Homeless Man: "How many legs does a black rooster have?" "Two?" Homeless man: "Right. Now, how many wings does it have?" "Two." Homeless man: "Right. How many eyes does a black rooster have?" "Two." Homeless man: "Right again. Now, how many hairs are on a white cat?" "I have no idea." Homeless man: "Hmm. You seem to know a lot about black cock but nothing about white pussy!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 22, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Michael Gooden sends along this video about the only beer pipeline I’ve ever heard of. It’s in Bruges, Belgium.

https://goo.gl/qdVPoG 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. -- Albert Einstein

A priest took his car back to his mechanic. "I brought this car in last week and, ever since, it's leaked oil all over my garage." The mechanic said, "Sorry, Father. I'll make it right for you. You can pick it up tomorrow." The priest returned the next day and the mechanic said, "I found the issue. Your oil filter was loose but it won't leak now because I fastened it tighter than a nun's c*nt." The priest responded, "Maybe you should give it another quarter turn." 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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[cyberjoke3000] March 21, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

This link explains itself! (I didn't know why we get eye boogers. I bet you don't either.)

http://www.attn.com/stories/7078/scientific-reason-why-you-get-eye-boogers

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

In the first day of a psychology course, the professor commented on each student's major, trying to provoke a response. It worked. Many students became defensive. When one student announced that he was a music major, the prof said, "So how does your father like you wasting your education studying music?" The student was ready. "He's grateful I didn't go into psychology!"

As Bill shaved, he told his wife, "I'm gonna ask the boss for a raise today." His wife, sitting on the edge of the tub, shaving her pussy, murmured, "Oh? Me, too!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Monday, March 20, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 20, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

March Madness can wait. Have a sight gag right now!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5801 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Your Family May Be Stressed if... Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down and then we can talk." The school principal has your number on speed-dial. Your cats are on Valium. People can't understand your kids because they always speak through clenched teeth. The number of jobs held exceeds the number of family members. No one has the time to microwave their food. You're switching your four-year-old to decaf. "Family meetings" often include law enforcement. You have to enter "take out trash" in your kid's Google calendar. Starbucks gives you their industrial rate.

A husband was reading a detailed sex manual. His wife asked him why. He replied that he was tired of being in the same old rut. She protested, "I don't understand. I thought we had a good sex life." Her husband answered, "Let me put it to you another way." 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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Friday, March 17, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] March 17, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory scientists have recently obtained, digitized, and analyzed thousands of films the U.S. government made during the 1950s atomic bomb tests, confirming why we never want to use weapons like these. (There are 64 videos in the playlist, so you’ll want to skip through many of them.)

https://youtu.be/pWpqGKUG5yY?list=PLvGO_dWo8VfcmG166wKRy5z-GlJ_OQND5 

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AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A Finn was going to be in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day, so he asked the locals to describe the scene. They said, "It's about drinking lots of alcohol, going from pub to pub, and probably getting in trouble with the cops. Is there a similar day in Finland?" The Finn answered, "Yes there is. We call it 'Friday'!"

An elderly couple was sitting on the front porch swing when the husband said to his wife, "Mrs., I feel like making love tonight." She replied, "Okay, Ernest, but this time be gentle." "But I'm always gentle, dearest," She replied, "That's not true. The last time, you woke me up twice!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
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For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



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Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



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