It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
CyberJokester Jesse Linden sends along this web site which tracks Santa's progress tonight using Google Maps, with a little gift box at each stop.
http://www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
'Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hackers a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The emails were stacked by the modem with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Javascript danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa, and me with a snack,
Had just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).
When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my ol' Mac flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle and started to crash.
I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.
When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced at my screen and Mac called them by name:
"Now Compaq! Now Acer!" my speaker did reel.
"On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal.
"Jump on the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing rip!"
The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,
Then into my room came a full hologram!
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black (with white socks he really should lose).
He pulled out some discs he had stored in his pack.
He looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!
With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word. Gave my Mac a quick poke,
And accessed my hard drive with only a stroke.
He defragged my hard drive and added a DIMM,
And threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!
He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
My eyes widened a bit at the work of this gnome,
As he instantly added a new version of Chrome.
The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!
He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
"Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"
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