It's Al Lowe's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qanlirrRWs
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Today's
My local church just put up a sign that read, "Jesus makes all things new again." I'm thinking of taking them my car!
When two men, walking down Broadway after an evening at the theatre, spotted a well-dressed attractive woman, one man nudged the other and said, "I'd give a thousand bucks to screw her!" To their surprise, she overheard him, smiled, and said, "It's a deal!" He went to her place and had a great night. The next morning, he laid $100 on the dresser and put on his coat. "What?" she cried. "We agreed on $1,000! If you don't pay me the rest, I'll sue you!" He laughed and said, "I'd like to see you try" and left. The next day he received a summons ordering him to court. His lawyer told him not to worry and assured him that she had no grounds for a case. But, in court, her lawyer addressed the judge, saying, "Your Honor, my client owns a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specific length of time for the sum of $1,000. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, paid only $100. The rent was not excessive since this is restricted property with vacant possession, so we ask that you render judgment against the defendant, plus damages." The man's lawyer was amused by his opponent's presentation and followed up with, "Your Honor, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of property, that he did indeed rent said property for a short time, and used it for its intended purpose. However, my client found a well on the property, around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labor personally performed by him. These improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid portion of the rent. The plaintiff has been adequately compensated for the rental of said property and therefore we request that no judgment be granted." Her lawyer rebutted, "Your Honor, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on the property and that he did make desirable improvements as described. However, had the defendant not known of the well's existence, he would never have rented the property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took his pump with him. In so doing, he not only dragged his equipment through the shrubbery but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it readily accessible to small children." Judgment rendered for the plaintiff!
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