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Today's
"Wonderful Life" Updated for 2015: "Look, Daddy! Teacher says every time the opening bell rings, Wall Street gets a bonus!”
Things That Sound Dirty On Christmas, But Aren't: Did you get any under the tree? I think your balls are hanging too low. Check out Rudolph's honker! Santa's sack is really bulging. Lift up the skirt so I can get a good look. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy. From here you can't tell if they're real or fake. Can I interest you in some dark meat? To get it to stand up straight, try propping it up against the wall!
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