It's Al Lowe's
I hope you have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve celebration. Tomorrow’s
Jerry Seinfeld tried to get Barack Obama in a car to get coffee; watch what happened:
http://bit.ly/1Jhd2D3
Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.
Today's
A man died and immediately found himself standing beside Jesus on a sandy beach. Ahead stretched two sets of footprints. "This was the journey of your life," said Jesus and they started to follow the prints. Jesus explained, "See how I walked beside you from the beginning?" Soon the two sets of footprints on the sand became a single track. "Lord, is this when I was fearful, distressed and distraught, when my hopes were dashed, my love betrayed, and everything conspired against me? Was this when you abandoned me, even though I needed you the most?" Jesus gestured kindly at the single set of footprints and said, "No, my son, this was when I carried you." The man was astonished and chastened. They continued their walk. Soon the single track became two again, then was joined by a third, and a fourth, and a fifth set. "But what is the meaning of this, Lord?" Jesus replied, "Oh, that? That was when you got so fat I had to get some apostles to help carry your fat ass!"
When I die, I hope I come back as a spider so I can finally hear women scream, "Oh my God! It's huge!"
For a free subscription to
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.
To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.
To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for
Send your comments and feedback here.
Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment