It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
Happy Thanksgiving! (Or, if you don't live in the U.S., Happy Thursday!)
Own a TiVo? Not a "DVR," but a real TiVo? If so, here's a simple series of button clicks that will redefine a button on your remote to skip exactly one 30-second commerical. I've used this for years and love it!
http://www.weaknees.com/30/
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
"Momma, come to the hospital quick! Daddy's had a Cadillac arrest!" "Oh, no, son! His heart has stopped?" "No, Momma. He stole an Escalade and then resisted arrest!"
A man walked up to the woman sitting alone at the bar. "I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm concerned; I mean, we might hit it off, end up having some drinks, and the next thing you know you give me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it. I finally get up the nerve to call, we go to a movie, have dinner. I relax, you relax. We go out a few more times, meet each other's friends, spend time together, get past our sexual tension, and develop an intense, incredible sex life. We decide our relationship is solid, move in together, later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You want kids, but I want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I'm resentful. The sparks start to fade and, to rekindle them, we have two more kids. Then I have to work too much to pay the bills and have no time for you. You get stressed and stop taking care of yourself. Your low sex drive and my declining self-confidence cause me have an affair, merely for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar and you throw me out, justifiably so. Then we have to explain to the kids that mommy and daddy are splitting up and it's not their fault. That's so sad. Think about the kids. So... if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going!"
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