It's Al Lowe's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI2kO4qTi80
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Today's
"Doctor, please help me. Every evening, a few minutes after my husband gets home from work, he slaps the back of my head." "Hmm. 'A few minutes,' you say? Try this: every evening, when your husband arrives home, eat a large apple, taking small bites and chewing each bite twenty times." A week later, she returned. "It worked, Doc! He hasn't slapped me once. How does it work? Is it the scent of the apple? Does that calm men?" The medic explained, "No. You can't talk if you're chewing!"
There was a young plumber named Lee,
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea.
Said the lady, "Stop plumbing!
I hear someone coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "That's me!"
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