It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
Today's second joke is rather long, but I think worth it. I hope you do, too.
Google networked eight computers with eight large LCD screens to create a truly immersive experience of Google Earth and Street View they call Liquid Galaxy. I want this. Now!
http://www.flixxy.com/google-liquid-galaxy-ted-demo.htm
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
Definition of serendipity: Looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer's daughter!
"Class, today we experiment with a new form of creative writing: the tandem story. Each of you pair off with the person sitting beside you. Tonight, one will write a paragraph, email it to your partner who will add another paragraph to the story and email it back. The first will add another paragraph and so on. No discussion outside of the emails. Anything you wish to say must be written in each email. The story is over when you agree a conclusion has been reached." Here's one of those resulting stories, started by a co-ed and then continued by a male student:
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he enjoyed chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating and, if she thought about him too much, her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron orbiting above Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of some air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie, with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A. S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him.
Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
Laurie read the newspaper headline, "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires determined to destroy them. Within hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of f*¢king tea? Oh no, what will I do? I'm just an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
A$$hole.
Bitch!
Neanderthal! F*¢k you!
In your dreams, ho. Go drink some tea.
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