It's Al Lowe's
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/watch-this-video-of-a-dog-flying-a-plane
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Today's
Why shouldn't you date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them!
My nookie days are over.
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my pride and joy,
Is now my waterspout.
Time was, when on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now it's near a fulltime job,
Just to find the friggin' thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now, as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!
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