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Happy Independence Day! Since you have the day off, you can finally get through all 5,440 sight gags. (Or at least ten.)
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Today's
One Sunday morning, a pastor announced to his congregation, "I have in my hand three sermons: a $1000 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $500 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $100 sermon that lasts well over an hour. Now, we'll collect the offering and see which one I'll deliver."
Two little girls, pushing their doll strollers in the park, met for the first time. One said, "What a pretty baby and stroller you have. Where did you get her and what did she cost?" "Mommy got mine on sale at K-Mart for $39.99." "Oh. Mommy got my doll at Wal-Mart for $49.99." Just then a real mommy came by with her real baby. After some oooohs and aaaaahs, the same questions were asked: "Where did you get your baby and how much did he cost?" The mother replied, "I got my baby at the hospital and the bill was $8,000." The two little girls were stunned. As they walked away, one girl said to the other, "If you ask me, she got screwed!"
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