It's Al Lowe's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFnycBlOIRA
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Today's
Guaranteed Weight Loss Plan: Turn your head to the left and then to the right. Repeat whenever offered food.
My girlfriend's trusting parents left us alone in the living room one evening while they went out to dinner. Naturally, we didn't talk for long. But soon I saw her little sister watching from the staircase. I tried to bribe her. "If you'll go to bed like a good little girl, I'll give you a dollar." Without accepting, she ran upstairs, but returned in seconds and handed me a five, saying, "I'd rather watch!"
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