It's Al Lowe's
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Today's
A married couple hired a live-in maid. She was polite, a good cook, and kept the house tidy. But a few months later, she told them she had to quit. "Why?" asked the disappointed wife. The maid hemmed and hawed but eventually confessed, "I'm pregnant. And I can't afford to raise a child." "My husband and I can't have children and we don't want to lose you. Why don't you stay, and we'll adopt your baby." The maid agreed. All went well until a year later, when the maid told them she was pregnant again. And again they offered to adopt the child if she would stay. She agreed, the second child came, and all returned to normal until a year later, when the entire process was repeated again. The couple loved their three adopted children. But soon the maid again told them she had to quit. "Oh, no! You can't be pregnant again!?" said the wife. The maid responded, "Oh, I'm not pregnant. It's just that you have too many kids to pick up after!"
"Doc, I'm having trouble sleeping. I've tried everything, but all I do is toss and turn." "You just need to relax," the doctor answered. "Tell each part of your body to go to sleep separately. 'Toes, go to sleep. Feet, go to sleep. Legs, go to sleep.' and so forth. Pretty soon you'll wake up and it'll be morning." He tried it that very night. He got in bed, got comfortable, and started talking: "Toes, go to sleep. Feet, go to sleep. Legs, go to sleep...." Just then, his wife walked in wearing a see-through teddy. He jerked upright and shouted, "Everybody up! Everybody up!"
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