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Today's
A mom was preparing dinner for her family when she spilled a jar of spice all over herself. Her daughter looked up from her phone and said, casually, "Hey, Mom? Can we talk?" Her mother snapped, "Now? Why in the hell would you choose now to talk?" The daughter answered, "I dunno, you looked like you had some thyme on your hands!"
What's the difference between a brownnose and a sh¡thead? Depth perception!
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