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Today's
"Dad, Can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What do you want me to write?" "Your name. On this report card."
What Men Say versus What Men Mean: "Haven't we met?" ("Nice ass.") "I'm a romantic." ("I'm poor.") "I need you." ("My hand is tired.") "I'm different from other guys." ("I'm not circumcised.") "I want a commitment." ("I'm tired of masturbating.") "You're the only girl I've ever cared about." ("You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me.") "I want to get to know you better." (..."so I can tell my friends about it.") "It's just orange juice, try it." ("Three more shots and her legs will be around my head.") "She's kinda cute." ("I wouldn't kick her out of bed, but a pillow over her face might help.") "I don't know if I like her." ("She won't sleep with me.") "I miss you so much." ("I'm so horny my male roommate looks good.") "How do I compare with your other boyfriends?" ("Is my penis small?") "Was it good for you?" ("I'm insecure about my manhood.") "I had a wonderful time last night." ("Who are you again?") "Do you love me?" ("I've done something stupid that you might find out.") "Do you really love me?" ("I've done something stupid that you will find out.") "How much do you love me?" ("I've done something really stupid and someone's coming to tell you about it.") "I have something to tell you." ("Get tested.") "I'll call you." ("I'd rather be ravaged by wild dogs than see you again.") "I've been thinking a lot." ("You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.") "We should just be friends." ("You're ugly.") "I've learned a lot from you." ("Next!")
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