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Today's
One guy asked his buddy for a cigarette. "I thought your New Year's resolution was to quit smoking?" his friend said. "I'm working on it. Right now, I'm in Phase One." "What's Phase One?" "I stopped buying cigarettes!"
An Irish girl came home from college and told her mother, "Ma, I think I got me a case of the V.D." Her mother said, "Oh, just put it under the bar, dear. Your father will drink anything!"
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