It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™
Merry Christmas to all! This particular variant on the old Christmas poem struck close to home at our house this year. Here's hoping your holiday is perfect.
Here's a video by a group called Straight No Chaser that should put you in the Christmas spirit:
http://bit.ly/hov4sM
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Today's CyberJoke 3000™
A Parents' Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,
I searched for tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage, "Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot.
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat...
Let no screws be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But fifty sheets of directions, concise, but unclear.
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So that, if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out.
All over the carpet they scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy makers had created a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" until morning's first light.
We spoke not a word but kept bent at our work
Till our eyes went bleary and our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night wore quite thin,
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be our best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set.
We've finally created a perfect Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland we gratefully went,
For a minutes rest that felt heavenly sent.
But there's one rule to recall to those self-deluded:
Remember that batteries are never included!
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