Wednesday, May 31, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] June 1, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Why are doughnut boxes pink? The answer could only come out of Southern California. And is another American immigrant story.
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-pink-doughnut-boxes-20170525-htmlstory.html 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Men are like mascara: they run at the first sign of emotion!

I think I could do better than most male porn stars. Probably not at the sex stuff, but at least I wouldn't get distracted while cleaning the pool! 

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AL
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[cyberjoke3000] May 31, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Can you name any aspect of technology that's gotten worse over the past generation? I can: keyboards. But now, mechanical keyboard switches are making a comeback. If you've never typed on a really good keyboard, here's what you've been missing:
https://gizmodo.com/whats-going-on-inside-your-keyboard-explained-1791536764

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

My wife says she's leaving me because I'm drunk all the time. I'm married?!

At the gym, I couldn't help ogling a gorgeous young woman doing squats. She saw me, got mad, and yelled at me, "I'm sick of being drooled over by pervs like you!" Then she put on her clothes and left. 

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AL
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Monday, May 29, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 30, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Can't wait until December for a sneak peek at The Last Jedi? Let master photographer Annie Lebovitz show you around the set.
http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/05/star-wars-the-last-jedi-cover-portfolio

If you’re interested, my current eBay for sale items are listed here:
http://www.ebay.com/usr/al_lowe

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you hear about the shoplifter who stole a board game from Toys 'R' Us? He got Life.

My girlfriend yelled at me, "Stick it in!" I did. "Thrust hard!" I did. "Don't stop!" Finally, I said, "It's okay. I know how to unclog a toilet!" 

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AL
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[cyberjoke3000] May 29, 2017

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Thursday, May 25, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 26, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The map mavens on Reddit's “Data Is Beautiful” have compared cities' official subway maps with the actual geography they represent and it seems that real cities aren't as geometrically tidy as their maps would make you think! But these GIFs are mesmerizing!
https://digg.com/2017/subway-maps-vs-geography 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Mom, why don't you fly out for a visit? It's been too long." "No way. I'm afraid of airplanes." "Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air." "Maybe so, but I don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go!"

A chicken is the result of a sitting hen. A baby is the result of a standing cock! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 25, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you ever wonder just how fast an F1 car is? Watch an F1 give a Mercedes SL63 a 40-second head start and a V8 Supercar with a 20-second head start, all in a one-lap race!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PWHn_GNvcM 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

If marriage is so great, why is it when someone is murdered, the police always suspect the spouse first!?

Platonic Relationship: What develops when two friends grow tired of f*¢king each other. 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 24, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

One of our best vacations ever was the eight days we spent rafting through the Grand Canyon. Here's a high-def, time-lapse look at this wonder of our planet:
https://vimeo.com/217407298 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

For Sale: Before our wedding date was finalized, I bought two ticket packages for the Alabama / USC game, box seats, airfare, hotel rooms, the works. Now we learn the only date the church is available is that same day, so I can't go. If you want to go instead of me, it's 1 p.m. at the First Baptist Church and her name is Erica.

I met my ex-girlfriend's son last week. We talked about how I once auditioned to be his father. 

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Copyright information
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AL
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Monday, May 22, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 23, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Ever wonder what happens inside a solid-fuel rocket? Here's a transparent rocket filmed at 6,000 frames per second that show you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xvVJQSGHts

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I waited what seemed like forever at the D.M.V. When I finally arrived at the window, the clerk asked, "How can I help you?" I said, "Would you save me my place in line? I need to get a haircut." She huffed, "Why didn't you get your haircut before you came here?" I told her, "When I got here, I didn't need one!"

A vagina is like a very small hotel room: you've got to leave your bag outside! 

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I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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[cyberjoke3000] May 22, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The next time you're on hold with customer service, click here. Maybe you’ll get through all 5,900!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5891

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A buddy invited me to an "Open Mike Night." It sounded like fun until I learned it was an autopsy!

If you want to know how bad your girlfriend's P.M.S. is this month, just place a photo of your ex- beside your bed. You can tell by how far she shoves it up your ass! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Friday, May 19, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 19, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Cut, chisel, plane, repeat: Dorian Bracht​ and his Joint Ventures series of videos show superb Japanese joinery without a single annoying word. You can learn a lot by watching this master craftsman.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRGV5YMWtS0RR-SfJ2XU-8A

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A waiter delivered a customer's steak with his thumb over the meat. "Why is your thumb on my steak!?" he demanded. The waiter said, "I didn't want it to fall on the floor again."

The worst thing about sex with farm animals is the long walk just to get a kiss! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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Wednesday, May 17, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 18, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Alex Tizon was an author and Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist -- and grew up with a family slave. In America. In the 1970s. Read "My Family’s Slave" in the Atlantic:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/lolas-story/524490 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

If I'm ever on life support, unplug me. Then plug me back in. Maybe that'll work.

My science professor said he was going to show us his transistor. Imagine my surprise when a woman with a penis showed up! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 17, 2017

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Monday, May 15, 2017

[cyberjoke3000] May 16, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Carolina Eyck sings and plays the Theremin on Ennio Morricone's The Ecstasy of Gold from the legendary movie The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Watch her spend the first minute laying down the loops.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajM4vYCZMZk 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I need to get in shape, so I plan to join a club and work out every day for one full year. I picked the year 2025.

A husband came home with a carton of ice cream and asked his wife if she wanted some. She asked, "How hard is it?" "As hard as my dick!" he bragged. She replied, "Okay. Pour me some!" 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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[cyberjoke3000] May 15, 2017



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

A stitch in time means more time for sight gags!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=5881 

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

My new PIN is the last four digits of pi.

During the recent campaign, a politician's bus ran off the road and into a farmer's field, killing several animals. The politician agreed to reimburse the farmer. Thus, for once, a politician took responsibility for all the bulls hit! 

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Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.

 

AL
Laugh at allowe.com
For free jokes daily, send a blank email here

 



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