Joke For All: August 2013

Friday, August 30, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 30, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Fernando Lopresti sends along this, uh, "interesting" website: some guy has posted every one of my CyberJoke 3000™ for the last 4 years on his own site without my permission! Does anyone know how I can do something about this?

http://cyjoke.blogspot.com

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

If I won an award for laziness, I'd send someone to pick it up for me.

What is the strongest muscle? Your tongue. It can raise a woman's hips with just one lick!

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 29, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Al Bryda sends a long this WW2 propaganda film (by Americans, for Americans) about the B-24 Liberator and the tremendous factory built to create it. Ford's bomber plant at Willow Run, Michigan was the world's largest building under one roof and could produce one B-24 every 55 minutes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKlt6rNciTo

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Life doesn't come with a remote. You have to get up and change it yourself!

Did you hear about the blonde whose nether regions taste like tropical fruit? She'll let any mango in there!

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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 28, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Lowell Wall sends along this short video of an amazing juggler Alexander Koblikov. I've seen a lot of jugglers, but this guy is the best I've ever seen!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8qFBvnUGSM
Want more? Here's a YouTube query for him:
http://bit.ly/17S9Oyf

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Dad, I've decided on a career in organized crime." "That's great, son. Private sector or politics?"

When I was in college my buddies would make love to anything that moved. I never saw any reason to limit myself.

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Monday, August 26, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 27, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Usually when musicians call audience members up on stage to perform, the results are fun but cringe-worthy. But watch as the stars align for Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth at the Hollywood Bowl as she and a random audience member sing "For Good" from "Wicked."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpXm_sXcc_Y
And here Sarah shares the story in her own words:
http://bit.ly/17Yln6Z

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Paper clips: staples for those with commitment issues.

How is a blonde like the U. S. military? They're both open to anyone between the ages of eighteen and forty-five!

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[cyberjoke3000] August 26, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

After experiencing my first Gamescom in Cologne, Germany last week, I’m ready for a sight gag! How about you?
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=3941

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Remember: it's "I" before "E" except after "Old MacDonald had a Farm."

Abstinence makes the fond grow harder!

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Thursday, August 22, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 23, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

I want to thank everyone who signed up for Copy.com yesterday. If you missed it, Copy.com is a great alternative to Dropbox that gives your 20GB free just to start and then gives another 5GB free for every new customer you bring them. Click the link below and help me get a few more gigs myself. Thanks!
https://copy.com?r=gDprnI

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

On anniversaries the wise husband always forgets the past -- but never the present!

Definition of Relative Humidity: the sweat on your balls when you're screwing your sister-in-law!

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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 22, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Is your Dropbox full? Copy.com is a great alternative. Get 20GB free to start with and then get another 5GB free for every new customer you bring them. Click the link below to get started (and help me get a few extra gigs myself!). Thanks!

https://copy.com?r=gDprnI

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

My class visited a Coca-Cola bottling plant. There was no pop quiz.

Little Johnny complained to his buddy, Billy, "That Little Suzie is a liar!" "Why? What did she say?" asked Billy. Little Johnny replied, "She said she'd show me hers if I'd show her mine and she ain't even got one!"

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Monday, August 19, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 21, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Mark Bateman sends along this video showing the onslaught of the Japanese 2011 tsunami from a single person, starting with the receded water, then the rise, and finally the devastation of one small area. It’s rather long but, with a little judicious skipping ahead, I watched it all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc4sQT_2GGE

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

The bonds of matrimony are only a good investment if you keep up the interest.

"May I try on that lingerie in the window?" a gorgeous young woman asked the designer boutique manager. He replied, "Sure, go ahead. Maybe it'll attract some business!"

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[cyberjoke3000] August 20, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester John Horn sends along this brilliant promotional video showing many different Honda products. Two minutes of CGI magic. (I always wonder how many 3D animators were harmed in the making of a film like this! <grin>)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxy4n0UT82o

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I had to drop out of Communism school because of my bad Marx.

A cocktail party is where a man gets stiff, a woman gets tight, and they both return home to find that neither is either!

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[cyberjoke3000] August 19, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

During the dog days of August, how about a collection of cool sight gags?
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=3931

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Things Not To Say To Your Teen-Aged Date's Parents: "Sorry I'm late; I had to stop by the drugstore." "Show me how you used to spank her." "You want me to come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter!" "Do you think she would put out if I said I loved her?" "I got my license today!" "Being sexually active since age 13 has really helped me mature." "Five bucks says she's a D cup." "Do you have an empty soda can and some matches?" "Hi. I'm Robert, but my friends call me 'Back Door Bob'!" "So, does your wife just lie there during sex, too?"

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Friday, August 16, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 16, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Gary Orndorff sends along this scary footage of a Utah flash flood in a "dry wash." If you’re ever caught in such a place, watch for rainstorms upstream!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yCnQuILmsM

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

The Rules: The female makes the rules. The rules are subject to change without notice. No male can possibly learn all the rules. If the female suspects the male knows the rules, she must immediately change the rules. The female is never wrong. If it appears the female is wrong, it is because the male did or said something wrong, therefore the male must immediately apologize. The female can change her mind at any time. The male can never change his mind without the express, written consent of the female. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. These are The Rules.

What's the difference between love, true love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling!

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Thursday, August 15, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 15, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Albert van der Sluis sends along this interesting video of the making of a lawn chair -- in stop motion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7l3_THa-Yk
And if you're interested in more details (or, like me, just enjoy “wood porn”), check out his earlier chair project:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1HzCZEEsg4

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Bill and Doug were standing around the bar's bronco machine. No one has even come close to collecting the $1,000 prize for staying on for a full three-minute ride. But Bill was just drunk enough to say with confidence, "I'm gonna do it." Doug said, "You fool. You'll kill yourself." Bill hitched up his pants and replied, "No, I won't. Just watch me!" and climbed aboard. The machine thrashed wildly, up and down, side to side, around in circles, but Bill hung on. After two minutes, it bucked vertically and spun until Bill was just a blur, but when the three minutes were up and the ride stopped, Bill was still on the machine's back, acknowledging the cheers of the crowd. He dismounted, collected his winnings, and rejoined Doug. "How in the hell did you learn to ride like that?" asked Doug. Bill grinned. "Remember last winter? When my girlfriend had the whooping cough?"

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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 14, 2013

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Barry Stevens (and others) have shared what seems to be a definitive solution to the sliding blocks puzzle. At least, it was finally clear to me what was going on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8Q5Au5uXhI

CyberJokester Peter M. Slocombe sends along a fascinating and informative website with an unusual format. There's a lot to see (and learn) here.

http://www.inspirationgreen.com

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Why is it I can remember the lyrics to every song from the '60s yet I can't remember why I walked into a room?

Years ago, a man was riding the train from New Orleans, eating a bag of fresh shrimp, ripping them apart, and throwing the shells out the window. The woman sitting opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch." He replied, "It's none of your business, hon. I paid my fare and I'll do what I want." And he continued until he finished the bag. Full, he settled back for a nap. The woman pulled out her knitting. Soon all the man could hear was that incessant clicking and clacking. Soon he said, "Would you stop that noise? I'm trying to sleep!" She replied, "It's none of your business. I paid my fare and I'll do what I want." The man grabbed her knitting and tossed it out the window. She immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord. He started laughing. "You're gonna get fined for that!" The woman replied, "And you're going to jail …after the police smell your fingers!"

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Joke For All

Friday, August 30, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 30, 2013

Thursday, August 29, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 29, 2013

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 28, 2013

Monday, August 26, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 27, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 26, 2013

Thursday, August 22, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 23, 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 22, 2013

Monday, August 19, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 21, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 20, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 19, 2013

Friday, August 16, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 16, 2013

Thursday, August 15, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 15, 2013

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

[cyberjoke3000] August 14, 2013

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