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Today's
Bar Translator: When a man says, "May I have a glass of sweet white wine?" he really means, "I'm gay!" When a man says to a woman, "Ever try a body shot?" he really means, "I'd even drink tequila if I can lick you!" When a woman says to a man, "Ever try a body shot?" she really means, "If I'm this wild here, think what I'll do when you get me home!" When a woman says, "I don't feel well; let's go home," she really means, "You're paying more attention to your friends than to me!" When a man says, "I don't feel well; let's go home," he really means, "God, I'm horny!" When a man says, "I've already had ten beers," he really means, "I've only had three beers but I need an excuse to behave like this!" When a man says, "Who's got the next round?" he really means, "I haven't bought a round in years, but I can divert attention!" When a man says to a man, "Excuse me," he really means, "Get the hell out of my way!" When a man says to a woman, "Excuse me," he really means, "I'm going to grope you now!"
A man brought his date back to his apartment, dropped his pants, and said, "I want you to meet my little friend." She took one look and said, "Call me when he grows up!"
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