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Today's
Please give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a big pile of money.
A hillbilly got married and, on his wedding night, phoned his father for advice since he had never been intimate with a woman before. "Paw, we're in the bedroom. Now what do we do?" Assuming nature would take its course, his father replied, "Take off her clothes and get in bed." Five minutes later, Dad's phone rang again. "Okay, Paw, she's nekid in bed. Now what?" Knowing his son wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, his dad asked, "Did you take your clothes off, too?" "Nope." "Well, take off your clothes and you get back in bed with her." A few minutes later, another call. "Now we're both nekid and in bed. Now what?" "Look, son, must I spell out everything? Just stick the hardest thing on your body where she pees!" The next phone call began, "Okay, Paw, I got my head in the toilet. Now what?"
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