It's Al Lowe's
Now that you don’t have the Olympics to watch, why not spend all your spare hours digging through all 3,480 of my sight gags?
http://www.allowe.com/Humor/sightgagbrowser.php?j=3471
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Today's
A small town judge was hearing a drunk-driving case. The defendant had a long record and a reputation for D. U. I., but still demanded a jury trial. The day was near over and the jury pool had gone home, so the judge sent his bailiff into the lobby to impanel anyone available. He found a dozen lawyers and gave them the bad news. The lawyers thought this was a novel experience and filed respectfully into the jury box. The trial only took ten minutes; it was obvious the defendant was guilty. The jury went to the jury room while the judge prepared to go home. But after three long hours, the judge's patience was gone. "Bailiff! See what's holding up that verdict!" When the bailiff returned, the judge asked, "So? Have they reached a verdict?" The bailiff said, "Verdict? They're still giving nominating speeches for the position of foreman!"
"What's wrong, Tom?" "Please, don't ask." "But I'm your best friend. You can tell me." "My seven-year-old son made my secretary pregnant." "Tom, that's not possible." "No, it's true." "How?" "He punctured my condoms!"
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