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Repeat after me: “I will not click this link. I will not click this link. I will...” Aw, just go ahead and click!
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Today's
A teacher was presenting a natural history lesson to her elementary school class. "Worker ants can carry food that is five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?" Little Johnny piped up, "Their union sucks!"
The telephone rang at dawn. "Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, your caretaker at the country house." "Ernesto? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International Competition?" "Si, Señor. That's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! That bird cost a small fortune. What did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat, Señor Bob." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Señor. He ate the dead horse." "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "Your thoroughbred, Señor Bob." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Si, Señor Bob. He had a heart attack pulling the water cart." "What?! What water cart?" "The one at the fire." "What fire, man?" "The one at your house, Señor! A candle caught the curtains on fire." "What the hell? Are you telling me that my country mansion was destroyed by a candle?!" "Yes, Señor Bob." "Why were you burning a candle anyway?" "For the funeral, Señor Bob." "What funeral??!!" "Your wife's, Señor Bob. She showed up late one night and I thought she was a thief so I hit her with your new
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