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Today's
The 911 operator heard a man say, "I'm depressed, lying on a railway track, waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah." She was subsequently fired because her innocent response was considered inappropriate: "Remain calm and stay on the line."
The English teacher asked her class the meaning of "indifferent." Little Johnny's hand shot up, but the teacher knew his propensity for vulgarity and sexual innuendo, so she waited and waited while the class fidgeted and glanced at each another. Finally, she said, "Yes, John?" "Teacher, that's means lovely." Relieved, but puzzled, she asked, "John, why do you think indifferent means lovely?" "Because last night, when I was in bed, I heard Mom tell Dad, 'That's lovely.' And Dad replied, 'Yep. It's in different'!"
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