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Today's
An old retiree lived near a junior high school. One afternoon, three boys came down his street, banging merrily on every trashcan along the way. This happened every trash day until the old man had had enough. He stopped the young "percussionists" and said, "I love the way you express your exuberance. I used to do the same thing when I was a young drummer. In fact, I like it so much that I'll pay you five dollars each if you'll do it every day for a half hour." The kids were elated and continued to bang the trashcans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted them again. "I'm afraid I have bad news. This recession has hurt my income. Now I can only pay you two dollars a day to bang on the cans." The boys were displeased, but understanding and continued their ruckus. A few more days passed and the wily retiree approached them again. "Look, I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I can't give you more than 50 cents. Is that okay?" The drum leader looked disgusted. "No way, man! We're not gonna waste our time for that! We quit!" And once again, the old man enjoyed his peace and quiet!
How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? There's lipstick on your cucumbers!
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