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Today's
It May Be Time To Diet If: Your dancing causes the CD to skip! You're diagnosed with a flesh-eating virus and the doctor gives you twenty years to live! You put mayonnaise on your aspirin! Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side. You were born with a silver shovel in your mouth! You could sell shade! " When you ran away, your picture took up all four sides of the milk carton! Your blood type is Ragu! At the zoo, elephants throw you peanuts!
There was a young fellow named Lancelot,
Whom his neighbors all looked on askance a lot.
Whenever he'd pass
A presentable lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot!
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