Friday, May 30, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 30, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Ths spring, in Newcastle, Wyoming, some storm chasers made a time-lapse video of a supercell forming. Who needs computer-generated imagery when you have real nature?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoO89cqDgJU

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

The death row inmate, in front of the firing squad, waved off a blindfold, but did ask if he could be granted one last request. The guard said, "Perhaps. What is it?" "I want to sing my favorite song, just once through, without interruption." The guard agreed. The inmate began to sing, "Ninety-nine million bottles of beer on the wall..."

 

A guy walked into a bar with his new midget wife. He climbed up on a stool, while his wife stood beside him. He ordered two beers. The bartender served them and was surprised to see a tiny hand appear from out of sight below the bar and grab the second beer. Astounded, he leaned over the bar and saw the miniature woman. The man introduced her. "This is my wife." "Well, I'll be damned," said the barkeep. "She ain't no bigger than your fist." The man replied, "No, but she's a lot better!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.


I am using the Free version of SPAMfighter.
SPAMfighter has removed 622 of my spam emails to date.

Do you have a slow PC? Try a free scan!

__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 29, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Colin Furze's YouTube channel is filled with wacky science experimentsti that are well worth a look. Last week, in honor of X-Men, he not only created working Wolverine claws,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdcGek-NoFQ
but he also created working Magneto shoes that let him walk across his workshop's ceiling!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRKHCRR9-C4

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Mafia Valentines: "My love for you it came and went, so now your feet are in wet cement!" "I'm here to fulfill your fondest wishes, now that your husband sleeps with the fishes!" "Lie down with me it's my final offa, or you'll be lying wit' Jimmy Hoffa!" "I picked up this card from a slim selection, but that's all they got in witness protection!" "Violets are blue roses are red, I blew up your car so why ain't you dead?" "Lust is fleeting true love lingers, be mine always and keep all your fingers!"

 

Little Suzi got her first period. Not understanding, she was frightened. She found Little Johnny and showed him her problem. Little Johnny's face grew serious. "I'm no doctor, but it looks to me like somebody ripped off your nuts!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

[cyberjoke3000] May 28, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Gary Orndorff sends along this video showing how to make a rocking chair from a tree stump ...without power tools! And the woodworker has a sense of humor, too.

http://1funny.com/the-rocking-chair 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A man went to his doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor examined him but found nothing wrong. The doctor said, "If you want to cure your insomnia, you must stop taking your troubles to bed with you." The man replied, "Yeah, Doc, but my wife refuses to sleep alone!"

 

"Dad, what's a whorehouse?" His shocked father replied, "Well, uh, Little Johnny, you go there to, uh, have a good time." Little Johnny said, "I want to go there!" "Sorry, but you're too young." After his Saturday night game, Dad and his poker buddies decided they deserved to "have a good time." They didn't notice Little Johnny following them. Waiting until his father left, Little Johnny entered the whorehouse and told the madam that he, too, wants to "have a good time." She looked puzzled, but being kind-hearted, she gave him three doughnuts and escorted him out. Late that night, when he got home, his parents were waiting. "Where have you been?" asked his father. Little Johnny replied, "In a whorehouse." Dad was taken aback. "What? Well, uh, how was it?" Little Johnny said, "I managed the first two with no problem, but I just licked the last one!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, May 26, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 27, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Derek Lipkin sends along a video unlike any you've ever seen: "Tokyo Reverse."
http://vimeo.com/88907972

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A husband left his wife a voicemail: "Honey, I got hit by a car near the office. Paula brought me to the E.R. They ran tests and took X-rays. I have a slight concussion, three broken ribs, and a fractured left leg. They're going to keep me here overnight. I'll call you again when I know more." His wife responded, "Who the hell is Paula?!"

 

A young man laid on his back on the massage table, with nothing but a towel draped over his groin. The attractive woman massaged his shoulders, his chest, and worked her way towards the towel. When the towel began to rise, she arched her eyebrows. "You wanna wank?" she asked. He excitedly replied, "You bet!" She said, "Okay. I'll be back in ten minutes." 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, May 25, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 26, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

You don’t have to be a Veteran to enjoy some sight gags this Memorial Day. But if you are: Thank You!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4331 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

You May Be Too Old To Gig If: It's more important to find a place on stage for your electric fan than for your amplifier. You stop playing when your Ibuprofen falls behind the speaker. You check the TV schedule before accepting a gig. You recover from Saturday's gig about Tuesday. Your fans leave by 9:30. You need a nap before and during the gig. You list your truss as a business expense. The only white powder you bring to the gig is for your crotch. You actually ask the guitar player to "Turn it up!"

 

And the answer is: "Cock robin." The question: "What's that in my ass, Batman?" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, May 23, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 23, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

If you watched that amazing bike video I shared yesterday, you must watch the behind the scenes documentary about it that CyberJokester Bruce Musicus shared. Its tragic news will completely change your appreciation of the video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhI3CUDEWfU 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"Where'd you get that gold watch?" "I won it in a race." "How many people were in the race?" "Just three: the jewelry store owner, a cop, and me!"

 

A guy slid onto the stool beside a beautiful woman and asked to buy her a drink. She looked unimpressed. "Okay, but it won't do you any good." Later, he asked to buy her another. "Okay, but it won't do you any good." Later, he invited her to go to his apartment. She said, "Okay, but it won't do you any good." As they got comfortable in his apartment, he said, "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I want you for my wife." She smiled and said, "Now that's different!"

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, May 22, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 22, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Is this the most amazing bike video of all time?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhabgvIIXik 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

If you work at a coffee roaster, when your lunch break ends, is it back to the grind?

 

A sailor returned to port after months at sea and headed for the nearest whorehouse. The madam said, "You're late. All your buddies are already upstairs. I only have one girl left, and she costs a thousand dollars." Desperate, he agrees and heads upstairs. When the hooker came in, she saw the sailor masturbating furiously. She asked, "What're you doing?" He looked up and replied, "For a thousand bucks, I'm not giving you the easy one!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 21, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

EPFL researchers have developed a robot that can react and grab objects, even those with complex shapes and trajectories, in less than 5/100's of a second.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M413lLWvrbI 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -- Socrates

 

Little Johnny and Little Suzi were playing doctor on the back porch when Little Suzi's Mom came home. She realized what they were doing and said, "Suzi, you're gonna get a good lickin' when your father gets home!" Little Suzi replied, "Oh, Little Johnny's been doing that all afternoon!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___
Posted by: "Al Lowe" <al@allowe.com>



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, May 19, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 20, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Don Bostwick sends along this beautiful video by two incredible athletes, Nicolas Besnard and Shenea Booth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWIhXzZT8dE 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Women are like bacon: they look good, smell good, and taste good ...and they both slowly kill men!

 

"Guess what I heard today?" the husband asked his wife, "our UPS guy has slept with every woman in our building except one." His wife absentmindedly replied, "I'll bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis in Apartment 323!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

[cyberjoke3000] May 19, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

One more race for the Triple Crown ...of sight gags!
http://www.allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=4321

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!

 

Types Of Female Orgasms: The Optimist: "Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!" The Pessimist: "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" The Confused: "Oh yes, oh no, oh yes, oh no!" The Traveler: "Ah, I'm coming, I'm coming!" The Religious: "Oh God, Oh God!" The User: "Ah, more, more, more!" The Murderer: "If you take it out, I'll kill you!" The Submariner: "Mmm, deeper, go deeper!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, May 16, 2014

[cyberjoke3000] May 16, 2014



It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

And now, just in time for a Friday morning when you didn’t want to work anyway, CyberJokester Jeff Dunn sends along The Helen Keller Simulator. He assures me that, for bonus points, you can also "View Source Code."
http://helenkellersimulator.org 

Got a joke to share with me? Send it here. If you received this email from a friend, why not start your own free subscription? It's easy. See below.

AL

Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Unsuccessful Résumé Cover Letter Lines: "I really want to work here; I hear the drugs are good." "I regret that I have no references but everywhere I've worked has since shut down." "I'll kill myself if I don't get this job." "I know where you live." Any sentence that includes the word "acquitted." "I'm well-suited for this job since I'm tall." "I have a happy face." "I understand you have unmarried daughters." "I know I'll get this job because the voices told me."

 

The new mother got out of bed for the first time since her child's birth. She walked to the nurses' desk and requested a phone book. "You shouldn't be out here. You should be in your room, resting," said the head nurse. The new mother replied, "I need to search the phone book for a name for my baby." "You don't need a phone book; we gave you a booklet listing first names for your baby." "You don't understand: my baby already has a first name!" 

For a free subscription to CyberJoke 3000™
If you can read, you qualify! And it really is free.
You can learn more about it here.
Every past issue is here.
To join, send a blank email here.
To quit, send a blank email here.

To change your email address
Go here, unsubscribe your old address, then resubscribe with your new address.

To contact me
For more humor, visit allowe.com.
Submit your jokes for CyberJoke 3000™ here.
Send your comments and feedback here.

Copyright information
I am not the author of these jokes and I do not claim any copyright privileges concerning them. I assume them to be in the public domain. I do my best not to use copyrighted material. If you see any, tell me and I'll remove it immediately. You're welcome to send these jokes to anyone, as long as you forward this entire email, complete with all this information intact.



__._,_.___



__,_._,___
Posted by at No comments:
Newer Posts Older Posts Home
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)